September 2025 – a little bit about a lot of things

“We are all broken, that’s how the light gets in.” – Hemingway

Prologue – During a recent cleaning of my computer files, I discovered a folder full of partially completed blogs. Some were near completion while others were no more than a few sentences of a single thought. There were even a few, as my pal Corey Oakley best describes, that were borderline ramblings of a mad woman and may take some time to deconstruct. Deciding to tackle the chore of finishing each post, not only gave me a head start on my writing but reminds me of my reflections of years past. The following post was 95% complete and originated from November of 2019 a few months past finishing my breast cancer treatment. It was also around the time of Bobby and I calling time of death on our marriage. A longer blog, with many trains of thought, I did my best to edit without taking away from my original state of being. And although my mind, spirit and soul are in a much more joyful state, the sentiments seem to ring true in today’s world.

It’s Okay to be Not Okay

How many times has the following conversation been part of your day?

A friend asks a simple, kind question: “How are you?” You instantly respond with the obligatory, “I am okay” or better yet “I am good, just living the dream.” And quickly change the subject to any other topic but your current state of being. Deep down inside or maybe even right under the surface, you are far from okay. Why is sharing the truth seem like such a challenging request, even coming from our closest people?

In a world where other people’s opinions and reactions have a direct effect on our mindset when do we risk being brave enough to share the truth? When asked over the past several months, “How are you”, I was as guilty as the next guy with brushing the truth under the rug. Is it an inner urge to create a positive outlook or a private “do not disturb” switch I hung on my hypothetical emotional door? To be honest for me it was holding it together in order not to burst into tears. As a pure defense mechanism to my sanity and sadness, my main goal was holding it together on the surface. “Isn’t a beautiful sunny day?” was my focus, minute by minute, day by day. I had allowed myself to be the supporting character in my own story and not burden others in my sadness.

For me, there were a variety of reasons. Originally, I chalked it up to societies niceties, to air on the always sunshine, glass half full, response to your general state of being. But as I dug deeper, there were a treasure chest full of motives for being “untrue” in my remarks. I don’t have the strength to elaborate on my response, the feeling that the person asking really is just making small talk, or maybe I am just plain embarrassed by my circumstances. Was I a giant failure at my own life? And then it hit me, it is okay to say, “I am not okay”.

2019 may just be my least favorite year to date. The only other contender would be 1997, but as I try to get “this too shall pass” to set in, the newness of our current calendar feels far more difficult. Struggling to find my new normal, there is a liberation with owning your feelings and how you navigate them to the world. Starting to accept that I don’t have to go into detail nor do I need to feel responsible how the other person perceives my response. I also can take others “helpful” responses and do as I please with the information. And this new freedom has made me dig further into speaking ones truths.

Speaking Your Truths

In today’s culture (I believe strengthen by social platforms) humans think they can share their thoughts freely. Good, bad or just plain right out of left field, views flow freely. But in modern communication it seems that there is a new concept that comes with the sharing of opinions. We tend contribute those agreeing with us (or changing their mind) with how “loud” our expression grows. And that everyone who “follows or likes” our thought, will also feel exactly the same way. Even easier, if someone disagrees with us, with a push of a button we can simply “unfriend” them and block out their words. Problem solved and your world is full of the perfect harmony of everyone you associate with thinking, feeling, and believing all the same truths.

Well, I am here to tell you that is not okay. I am all for everyone embracing their political, spiritual, moral, educational, sports loving, beliefs. Sing them from the roof tops, be loud and proud, but do not expect me to jump in line and change my mind if we tend to differ. I agree with all my heart that we should all get to share our beliefs and live a life true to ourselves. But with that comes the acceptance that I get to believe, reflect and deliberate (or not deliberate) just the same as the guy next door.

So here are a few things I am okay with embracing, believing and living by, that it is okay for you to NOT share in my view. We can still be friends. We can still “like” each other on the world wide web. And the earth-shattering news is, that we all will still be a complete person tomorrow.

Jacky’s Beliefs

1 – Agriculture is king. More importantly, commercial agriculture is responsible, mindful, enterprises that are managed by smart people that value our earth, economics, and feeding our planet. Big does not equal bad. We need all kinds of farming to maintain the volume, tastes, preferences and price points that keep the supply chain viable. Do you realize that not all organic farming practices are sustainable? Do you even know the definition of organic or holistic farming or what an operation consists of on a production platform?

2 – It is okay to be a girl. Being born with two XX chromosomes isn’t a liability. I do agree both men and women can achieve, do, be whatever they want. But in this world that girls can do anything a boy can, I fear sometimes the message loses site that being a girl is pretty cool too. When I went to grad school in 1991 studying agriculture economics in Oklahoma, how many young ladies do you think were my classmates? There were three of us total and I was the only one that graduated 18 months later. 28 years later, my daughter is at the same university in the same major getting her Phd and the ratio of men to woman has changed drastically. I am all for everyone of us being true to our dreams. I also think that pink, crowns, dolls and wearing ribbons and bows doesn’t change your value to the world.

3 – Not everyone is cut out for collegiate life—and that’s okay. I’ve been around high school agriculture teachers for the last 38 years, and vocational skills have real-world value. Certified welders, landscapers, and heavy equipment operators—these are skilled professions, and they’re highly lucrative. We each have something to give to the universe to make it better. It just might not be developed through a four-year degree.

4 – Finally, it is okay not to be okay. Kiah Burchett visited my class to share her story and talk about self-brand. When one of the students asked her if she had bad days? I will never forget her response. She asked the class if you saw a heart rate monitor and the line was even (straight) what does that mean. They all replied, “you would be dead.” Exactly we all have down days. They allow the good days to follow.

If every day we felt the same and every situation was a neutral response would we feel nonstop joy or would we just feel empty? Being not okay occasionally and allowing ourselves to reboot is a necessity to life. When I wrote the above, I was about as down as I have ever been in my life. I started to wonder why I didn’t finish this post and get it published. But then I discovered the culprit. I wrote this on November 10, 2019, five days before I met Tod. He came along and jump started my climb back up my EOG (electric okay gram), filling my time with UCSD sporting events and meeting new people. My mind was finding joy in new adventures. And before you knew it, the sad of the past began to fade.

Here we are almost six years later. Go ahead and ask me how I am doing. Don’t get me wrong I still have those days that are just not good, but I am open to sharing my ups and downs with no remorse. Tod and I have experienced many changes in our world and even gained a dog. How does the old saying go, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”. Maybe that is the key, our strength comes from the down days. But I rather lean into the words of the Beatles, “Here comes the sun and I say, “It’s alright” or should we say “It’s okay”.

The photo was taken outside of Santa Fe, NM in September of 2019 exploring spiritual location

“All it takes is one song to bring back a thousand memories” – Unknown

It’s Labor Day and approximately 90 days past my original attempt at this post. It began with a trip to California to celebrate my nephew Garrett’s wedding the first week of June.

Being the ultimate travel planner (or at least in my vivid imagination) my initial goal was to make a brief stop in Las Vegas for a couple of days with an end game of catching Kenny Chesney at the Sphere. A few days of poolside sun made the itinerary; No Shoes Nation did not. (I traded the expense of concert tickets for a second summer adventure. Saratoga Springs racing season for the win. But that is a story for another day.) During the four hour flight to Sin City, I stumbled across a documentary chronically the birth of Yacht Rock music.

Being a creature of habit with a knack to embrace my seasonal luxuries, there are hard and fast rules in holiday celebration that I hold firm. You won’t catch me listening to Christmas music until the day after Thanksgiving. Then it is nonstop Bing and the boys crooning away with a sprinkle on Mariah and Amy Grant until the clock strikes 12 on December 25. Yet the jolly holly day isn’t the only seasonal playlist that I am loyal too. A few years ago, I discovered a summer station that made my 15-year-old heart melt, Yacht Rock radio.

Between Memorial Day and Labor Day, Yacht Rock graces my satellite radio as a designated channel. And for the sunshine months, I enjoy some of my favorite tunes from my teenage years. What a pleasant surprise on that faithful flight on June 1, to stumbled across a documentary that chronicled the mystery of this nontraditional genre.

The Yacht Rock movement to my surprise was more than a collection of songs I enjoyed formatted into a single playlist. Did you realize that much of this music stirs from a collection of talent combined in infinite combinations? Back in the 80s it was common for musicians or vocalists to assist in the studio across a variety of artists. Don’t believe me take a moment and grace the credits of half the songs listed on the top 100 Yacht Rock tunes and count how often Michael McDonald’s name appears? Songwriter, lead vocals or studio back up. He was mentioned so often that I began to wonder if he just kept a sleeping bag in his car with a spare tooth brush. The jazzy piano sound combined with the eccentric styles of the perfectionism of Steely Dan or the band Toto as independent studio musicians define the genre that didn’t exist until decades after the music topped the charts.

Fast forward to September 1, where I find myself as a passenger on another United flight headed to Las Vegas for an excursion to the Sphere. This time to skip down the yellow brick road and to see my pals the flying monkeys. There is no better use of my time, but to finish this blog. And ponder on why a piece of music history can make me feel like, there is no place like home?

Yacht Rock was never meant to creep into our airwaves on its own format when the artists were creating the sound. Born from skits and crooners making fun of this little slice of 80’s music it became a collection of sounds that reflected similar styles and characters. No captain hats or boats required, the definition included a smooth, jazzy piano sound featuring soulful voices of Micheal McDonald or Kenny Logins. Engrossed in the 95 minute documentary, I viewed a story of music that shaped my teenage years through my early twenties and rolled me back to 1985.

What happen forty years ago? The greatest class of the 80’s graduated from High School and took their first step into their future. Looking back at my educational journey it was truly a combination of Mayberry meets Surfing USA. I proudly place myself as part of two classes of 1985, roughly two hours apart in driving distance and as diverse in lifestyle as any country girl could imagine. And I am was the lucky one to have experienced all of my classmates from both Templeton and Carpenteria.

I began my first day of kindergarten with many of the same a faces that I walked across the stage with twelve years later in the Templeton gym to receive our high school diplomas. During the sixth year of my scholastic journey, I joined the class of 85 in a the coastal town (sixth grade through my sophomore year) just south of Santa Barbara known for avocados and ornamental horticulture, Carpenteria. An environment that seemed 10 times bigger (probably closer to 5 times) and culturally on a different planet. Yet, as I watched the documentary and quietly sing every lyric, I couldn’t help but notice the synergy that created the Yacht Rock sound mirrored the mapping of my childhood journey.

Jazz music is characterized by its emphasis on improvisation, complex harmonies, and syncopated rhythms. It often features a blend of different musical styles and cultural influences, making each performance unique and expressive. These notes combined with the overwhelming thread of collaboration of artists, song writers and musicians truly is the heart and soul of Yacht Rock music. And my growing-up game board of skipping through the spaces followed a similar format.

My classmates and friendship groups featured a mix of many personalities from a diversity of backgrounds. The foundation of our togetherness was a mix of harmonies of interest, unique collaborations, proximity in our daily life and that we were all in this big can of stew together.

There is nothing like the friends you have in your school days. They are a constant that you can count on day in and day out. As we grow older and embrace friendships in our later years, one can easily yearn for the ease of having a pal in our back pocket at all times. Let’s face it, it might not always feel this way, but in high school and college, there is always someone a stone’s throw away that is going through the exact same experience. There were an abundance of opportunities to make a friend or hang out with like minded people. Hearing the songs of my past, made me pause. Is my love of this music enriched in the sound or how it takes my memories on a soulful journey back to my youthful days.

From school dances to FFA trips, from high school sports to yearbook antics, my life was full of some of the most amazing humans that have ever walked this planet. Being part of the notorious Gen X culture, we might be small in size compared to other generations, but we have the luxury of being at the dawn of countless changes in world and daily life. We were the kids that learned how to cook with a microwave for an after school snack. Our music came in many forms, albums, 8 tracks, cassette or good old fashion AM/FM radio. Back in the days that making the team meant you showed up daily for practice and there was a role for all in the school play, being part of the whole offered a sense of community.

Templeton High School class of 85’s final journey was a trip south to the Happiest Place on Earth. Grad Night at Disneyland was our toast to the past while running straight into our future. I will admit there was a part of me that knew deep down inside that as we left the bus after the long ride home, it would be the last time I would see many of my classmates. Yes, there has been weddings, significant birthdays and chance encounters over the years, but there a just a handful of my classmates that I regularly communicate with or see (both Templeton and Carpinteria). Sure the birth of social media gives us an opportunity to reconnect and “check in”. But sitting here I figured why wait for a formal event to share what everyone of you means to my life.

Lisa, Julie, Lisa and me CHS 85 – 20 Year Reunion

As the Ambrosia song states, “Got a feelin’ that forever, we are gonna stay together, for me, there’s nothin’ better, you’re the biggest part of me”, the humans that I spent twelve years of my life surrounded by will always be part of my foundation. The story of Yacht Rock showed that working together always made the whole better. My classmates are who taught me to love, to laugh at nonsense, feel the value of team work, how to win and how to loose. Without them I would not be the person I am today. So here is to all of you from the Class of 85, thank you for being part of my life (big or small)…. you will forever be a huge part of me.

Month: September 2025

It’s Okay, NOT to be Okay

You’re the Biggest Part of Me… Class of 85