California Dreamin …. On Such a Summer’s Day

“Going home is a joy you cannot grasp unless you left home” – unknown

Our days in Kentucky have open our eyes to many things, but the biggest surprise is the number of people we encounter that have never visited California. The miss conceptions of what the Golden State truly has to offer is beyond mind boggling. To sum up the comments could easily be compared to the number of square acres of our home state of 163,695 if not even greater. Variety is copious but consists of the likes of the entire state is like San Diego (which all by itself is multiple mini cultures rolled up into a pretty little package), there isn’t a cloud in the sky and it is a pleasant temperature, let’s say 78 and sunny ALWAYS. The reality can’t be further from the truth. Granted that there are days just like the mind imagines, but it isn’t a two or even three-dimensional state, the complexities, change in terrain, climate and the significant industry base extends way beyond the world of all things tech. As much as I would love to sing the praises of the agricultural endeavors (basically it feeds the world in multiple commodities) I thought maybe documenting my trip back home would shed a little light on the realities. My only disclaimer, we visited some pretty cool locations and not all of the sunny state reflects these stops. If you don’t believe me travel up Highway 5 from southern California north and let me know how fabulous that feels, looks and even smells.

Saturday, June 1, 2024 – Day 1

Location	Louisville to San Diego County
Weather	Overcast 65 degrees, Sun made brief Appearance
Activity	Travel, Birthday Party, & Cocktails at Monarch Ocean Pub
Steps	11,880 Steps
Special People	Dente Family, Lena & Jen

Daily Recap

We began our journey in the historic, picturesque town of Del Mar. Originally designed to be an area for housing of teachers in the area, the community is sprinkled with longtime residents and remodeled million-dollar plush beach houses. Our home for the next three nights was east of Highway 5 in the Del Mar Heights area. We arrived at the Dente home just in time to celebrate their granddaughter Lucy’s third birthday. It had everything you need cupcakes, princess tattoos and a big loving family. We skipped out for a brief visit to one of our favorite views from the deck of Monarch Ocean Pub, were we got to have a quick toast with Jen and Lena. After a full day of travel we welcomed our nights rest and fell asleep dreaming of all the items on my check list of “things” I wanted to do over the next 8 days.

PSA for day one. I packed foot detox pads that I had purchased off of Amazon. Sleeping with these little gems not only aided in a great sleep, but did wonders for our circulation and worn out feet.

Sunday, June 2, 2024 – Day 2

Location	Del Mar
Weather	Overcast 65 degrees, Sun made brief Appearance
Activity	Walk in Cardiff by the Sea, Sbicca, Church, & Brigantine
Steps	13,885 Steps
Special People	Dente Family, Dr. Frank Sinatra

Daily Recap

Today began with checking-off an item on my list, ocean visit, and relive my days living in Cardiff by the Sea. One of my favorite past times was walking the neighborhood, then down toward Encinitas and if the tide was cooperating a stroll back on the beach. Big thanks to Kathleen for being game for this very long journey with me that cloudy morning. The sound of the sea and the smell of the air still evoke some mystic healing property to my soul. Needless to say, it was an A+ morning.

Tod and I took some time in the afternoon to have a snack and cocktail at Sbicca (the establishment were we actually met) and then went to the 5pm church service at St. James in Solana Beach. The evening ended having dinner with one of my favorite horse players (and his name just makes me smile) Dr. Frank Sinatra. Might I add during the first two days I ate as much fish as the menu would offer. My dinner of ahi tuna served on wonton chips was amazing combined with fabulous California wine was the icing on the cake.

Monday, June 3, 2024 – Day 3

Location	Del Mar & Lunch in La Jolla
Weather	Overcast 65 degrees
Activity	Coffee at Philz, Shore Rider, and Relaxing Evening
Steps	10,254 Steps
Special People	Dente Family, Richard from UCSD, & my cousin Jeremy

Daily Recap

Monday was a pretty mellow day. I did check off the list my desire for fish and chips and a Philz Coffee. Super last minute itinerary audible was lunch with my cousin Jeremy in La Jolla. Fun addition the drive home we cruised by UCSD and Torrey Pines. That golf course never disappoints of its simplistic beauty. Even if you aren’t an avid golfer, I highly suggest a visit to the lodge and sample the public course that has hosts multiple major golf tournaments.

Tuesday, June 4, 2024 – Day 4

Location	Del Mar to Santa Monica
Weather	Overcast 65 degrees, Sun made brief Appearance
Activity	Travel to Santa Monica to stay at the Oceana LXR
Steps	12,866 Steps
Special People	Just Us

Daily Recap

Known on this trip as the “Best Tuesday Ever” (a phrase said to us by a gentleman checking into this luxurious oasis) this was the one day that wasn’t jammed packed with visits and activities. Using a Hilton Rewards certificate, we spent one magical night at a truly relaxing location for free. Which made the experience even more delightful.

The pros and cons of the day. Santa Monica isn’t what is use to be from a shopping perspective. Walking down the 4^th street promenade was eye opening. What was once a vibrant, colorful world of mixing people, shopping and food was replaced with boarded up storefront, homeless residents and the occasional store still open for business. We made it a few blocks and decided it was too sad to continue and headed back to the Ocean Ave. The afternoon was spent reading poolside and enjoying a lovely glass of champagne. With the final treat dinner at our favorite oyster bar and dessert on the terrace of our hotel with an espresso martini in hand.

PSA for travel. When I started this blog years ago Tisha wanted me to write about using “points”. I am very loyal to Hilton and enjoy the perks with staying true to this course. Thus this night would have cost $900 with rack rate. Did I mention we traveled first class thanks to United miles? Loyalty has it perks, stay true to the brand and the magic will happen.

Wednesday, June 5, 2024 – Day 5

Location	Santa Monica to Templeton
Weather	Overcast until we reached the top of San Marcos Pass Paso Robles was 106
Activity	Travel, Wine Tasting at Daou & Eberle Winery, Mcphees Grill
Steps	7,108 Steps
Special People	Foti, Tina, Stacy, Kayla, Papa Cummings & Mom

Daily Recap

We embarked on the journey north with a chill in the air and the sun nowhere in sight. Taking over the driving duties in Santa Barbara I elected to venture over the pass into the Santa Ynez valley. It was on this stretch of road that the sun finally became part of our daily ritual. Stopping at the San Luis Obispo airport to drop off the rental car, Foti was kind enough to pick us up and later deposit us at our final resting place with my mom. But before that we became real Paso Robles wine country tourist with a few stops to experience what all the fuss is about in these vineyards.

First stop was Daou Vineyards. Located in what I would call the Adelaide area of Paso Robles. This recently new winery has really made it’s mark in the world of vintages. Once I stepped out of the car and felt the heat and smell of deer weed, my thoughts went straight to my days with my grandma at her lake cabin. Just a few miles as the crow flies from where we parked was a huge part of my childhood, Nacimiento Lake. The 100 plus degrees outside seemed to linger in the back of your mind as you sat under shade drinking in the views and tasting the wine. Known for their reds (and they were delicious and my non expert notes would say extremely balanced) I leaned into the Rose and Sauvignon Blanc as my favorites. So much so that I purchased a bottle of each to bring back to the Blue Grass state.

Next up was a visit to one of the matriarchs of Paso Robles wine industry Gary Eberle’s humble estate of Eberle Winery. One of the last free tasting rooms in the region, we had some inside love as my cousin Stacy is the National Sales Manager. She arranged a special tasting (including snacks and a brief cave tour). Not only did we enjoy the special guests of the two resident poodles, but Kayla joined us for the unique tasting experience. We finished the day with dinner at McPhees Grill in downtown Templeton.

PSA for wine travel or any travel. I always have a wine skin that stays in my suitcase as you never know where your travels might take you and a special bottle that might need to accompany you home. From olive oil to spirits, these little protectors are a wonder. Realizing we had an extra bag that we could check on the return home, I may or may not have brought home a whole case of Paso Robles wine?

PSA for packing. I invested in packing blocks for each of us for this adventure. With so many climates and activities, I knew we needed a variety of options. These little organizers are a packing gem. Everything stayed in its place and items were easily located. Throwing in a bag for dirty clothes helped in the organization game and made it easy to do a few loads of laundry at moms. I loved them so much, I jumped on Amazon and ordered both my mom and Trish a set. Game changer!

Thursday, June 6, 2024 – Day 6

Location	Templeton
Weather	Sunny and triple digits
Activity	Lunch with Dad, Wine Tasting Austin Hope, 80^th Birthday for Papa Cummings
Steps	6,627 Steps (it was too damn hot)
Special People	Dad, Lilly, Kayla, Mom, Bob, Jody, Julia, Teresa, Kathy, Barbie, Vivian, Shawna, Lily, Tony, Kaci, Kim & Chris

Daily Recap

Waking up where I have spent most of my life (literally I have lived within a mile of this location over half my life) the smell of the dry summer heat, sound of the sheep, and even the sound of my mother yelling at the dogs just added a level of comfort that only a true home can offer. Today we did three main activities but man it covered some time, filled our bellies and was a revolving door of family and friends.

First off Lilly arrived and took us to meet my dad for lunch. Not the most social person on a day in day out plan, he was the number one thing on my list to spend some time with and get him busy. Fun fact, when I text him and my step mother of his plans the week we were going to be in town (he only reads texts doesn’t respond.. lets say we are lucky he still doesn’t have a flip phone) my step mother’s responded to say he takes the garbage to the road on Mondays. So that was my que that his calendar was wide open. My plan was lunch and wine tasting.

*Dad did enjoy his day more than his face says!*

Our lunch plans shifted as the place I wanted to visit wasn’t serving for another 30 minutes. I did manage to get my wedding gift purchased and we ventured to the Paso Robles Golf Club for our meal. For me that was like stepping into a time machine and encountering pieces of your past. After lunch we went to Austin Hope’s main tasting room for an afternoon experience. Disclaimer, I seldom visit wineries when I venture home, but each of these had a special reason behind the journey. My step sister Jody just started working for Austin in his new downtown Paso Robles location and my thought was to visit her during one of her shifts. But she wasn’t scheduled that day, so instead she made us a reservation at the winery and joined the party. It was another high heat experience, that we half way through the tasting shifted to a bottle of bubbles and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon for Dad.

The evening was all about celebrating Papa Bob Cumming’s 80^th birthday. A typical Grandma Jo meal, she worried that we would run out of food, and of course we did not. Surrounded by family and friends the bubbles flowed right along with the stories shared. We got to finally meet Lily Hollstien’s fiancé Tony and catch our first glance of the bride to be Kaci as she came by for a famous Moon Beams spray tan.

Plans were made for morning walks, pancakes on Saturday morning, and yet another wine tasting for Friday. Papa felt the love, having a handful of his grand daughters singing birthday songs and some incredible tasty sweet treats for dessert. The lack of not one photo from the evening is a true reflection of how present and genuine we lived in the moment.

Friday, June 7, 2024 – Day 7

Location	Templeton
Weather	Sunny cooling off into the 90s
Activity	Morning walk, Breakfast with Tisha, Booker, Unexpected French tasting and Dinner at Loading Chute
Steps	15,604 Steps
Special People	Tisha & Grandma Trish (and the all the previous mentioned)

Daily Recap

Friday morning started off with a bang, or should I say a house full of family. As they all began to disperse to their chosen form of exercise, I quickly discovered my plan of going for a walk with Lilly and Julia was not theirs as they drove out of the drive way. Eager to get some steps on my fit bit while the morning air was still crisp, I went out on one of my favorite strolls down Jack Creek Road. Passing only one vehicle, the quiet country road brought back memories that only a still sense of the past reflecting little change in the present can offer. I even came across a patch of sweat peas that made me give a quick nod to my grandmother. She would share with us kids stories of how her neighbor Miles would drive from his place (on the road I was walking) to the coast and throw sweat pea seeds out the truck window. I can’t recall a time I have not been on the look out for these magical flowers that have survived decades to continue to bloom each year. On my way back Tisha called and suggested her and I steal away for a breakfast for two. A mimosa and a few shared snacks was just what the doctor ordered to kick off the day.

But the magic of the day was just beginning to bloom. Kayla had requested that we visit Booker Vineyards. Thanks to Teresa she arranged for us to have a tasting at this very trendy location. Which for me is such a twist of fate. You see Booker is named after the original land owners, Claude and Dick Booker. Two bachelor brothers that were the true definition of turn of the century grain farmers. Ironically their land has become some of the most prized vineyards in the area. My brother Johnny and I were lucky enough to actually know these fine men and my brother even has one of their tractors. They represent just another classic Templeton history story that now finds itself as the opening lines to a prestigious establishment. https://www.bookerwines.com/About If you go to this link you can read and see their original farm house. Let me tell you it was anything but glamorous and not a place any well respected influencer would visit today. And similar to our earlier visits we opted half way through the reds for a glass of the Rose. And a bottle may or may not be nestled in my wine frig in Kentucky.

On our way back to home base, Teresa surprised us with a quick visit to Villa Creek Winery, where we were introduced to the most gracious human, Anne Charlotte Melia-Bachas from the Chateauneuf-Du-Pape region of France. Unfortunately we only had a quick minute to try this vintage. A wonderful detour that I so wished we had the time to make into a destination. But more fun awaited us on the other side of town.

Our dinner plans began at the Coon Estate complete with cocktail hour hosted by Bob Coon himself mixing up his favorite margarita. This was Tod’s first visit to the east side of town and we thought it would be grand to keep the local flavor alive. Dinner was at the Loading Chute in Creston, California. Wonderful food, great steaks and a bounty of local wines, this establishment is off the beaten path but well worth the drive. Bellies full and a big day ahead of us on Saturday, Kayla, Tod and I made our way back to Vineyard Drive for another good nights rest.

Saturday, June 8, 2024 – Kaci & Michael ‘s Wedding Day

Location	Templeton & San Miguel
Weather	The Fog Lifted to Lovely June Day
Activity	Gma Jo Pancakes (if you know you know), San Miguel Mission, Elkhorn Bar, & The Big Wedding
Steps	11,360 Steps
Special People	All of the Above plus Payton, Colby, Trevor, Peggy & the Mott/ Fletcher Clan

Daily Recap

This might just be titled the “Best Morning Ever” as we got have Grandma Jo pancakes. You might ask, what is all the fuss about? Well when my mother agrees to mix up her magic batter it is a breakfast you just don’t want to miss. Her secret ingredient (no its not mother’s love) she beats the egg whites until they look fit for a prize winning angel food cake and uses buttermilk. So good and when the town crier (me) announces that the griddle is hot, well they come running from miles around.

But today didn’t give us much time to sit around drinking mimosas and enjoying delicate fluffy pancakes we had a wedding to attend. Kaci Mott (soon to be Kaci Marcotte) came into our world as an eager sheep showing, 4-Her and joined what is now known as Bob’s Beautiful Barn, completing the four of a kind to Papa Cummings three grand daughters, Kayla, Lilly and Julia. For me Kaci has been Lilly’s sidekick, Tisha and my fair employee and student at Cal Poly. Her husband to be, Michael was also a former student and shared with me the night of the reception that is was my AGB 406 class when he got to work with Vicki Carroll and Hospice du Rhone, that he made the commitment to have a career in the Central Coast Wine Industry. Our family and Kaci’s have many interwoven connections and it was no surprise to all when Lilly was asked to serve in the special role of Maid of Honor. Needless to say this wedding was part of our family and an event that we just couldn’t miss.

The nuptials were held at the historic San Miguel Mission. Founded in 1797, the historic landmark still holds weekly masses and reflects all the unique, nostalgic heritage one would expect. The ceremony had an air of magic watching the new, shiny wedding ways laid over the canvas of a 200 year old venue.

After the ceremony we had some time to make our way to the winery venue reception. Being the veteran event people, mom ordered up some turkey sandwiches to take into the Elk Horn for what we referred to as wedding intermission. An act that I could easily make into a PSA, having that light snack and a cool drink on a hot June Day was the perfect way to kill some time before the reception began.

The reception was everything one would expect, straight out of a Hallmark Romance, vineyard setting. Flowers perfect, specialty cocktails of course, the perfect wines from both the bride and grooms careers, and a casual yet elegant atmosphere surrounded by all that love and celebration their people could express. There were many special moments, but maybe this is a mom talking, but I thought Lilly’s Maid of Honor toast was the perfect sprinkle of fun, laughter, love and happily ever after. Knowing Kaci’s family I have all the faith in the world in these two newlyweds and the future they will build together. Needless to say it was the signature activity to end our California adventure.

Sunday, June 9, 2024 – Day 9

Location	Templeton – Louisville
Weather	Sunny 90
Activity	Traveling Home
Steps	7,347 Steps
Special People	All of the Above + Payton, Colby, Trevor, Peggy and the Mott/ Fletcher Clan

Daily Recap

Today we journeyed our way back to eastern standard time. My take aways from the past eight days are filled with blurry moments, untaken photos, and short reel of my past 56 years of life. Spending so much time looking out at vineyards, it gave my mind’s eye a pause to reflect back to when these fields were full of dry land grain farming and cattle. Even further back to when almonds and walnuts were the tapestry of the area. At the end of the day, it is still all agriculture driven and that settles well in my heart. I recently read a quote that said, “Home isn’t a place it is a feeling”. I couldn’t agree more. Recapping our adventure I am glad I took the time to note each day. As I wrote in the last blog, my art needs to be for me first and isn’t that what being home is all about?

Final Overview –

*The delicate fluffy pancake secret step!*

One Wedding

Two Birthday Parties

Three Resting Locations

Four Parents Hugged

Five Winery Visits (or one might say Four and half)

Twelve Bottles of Wine

Hundreds of Miles Traveled

Countless Family and Friends

And just like Master Card….Memories Made….. Priceless

June 26, 2024 2

The Joy of Creativity, is it Fair?

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” – Maya Angelou

Recently I began reading Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert the author of Eat, Pray, Love. Whole heartedly admitting that this book first caught my eye because I did enjoy her earlier best seller both in print and on the big screen, but the title tugged at something deeper in my soul. As I am making my way through the pages the first take away is to enjoy your creativity. Create for you and you alone.

A roadblock that I have faced with writing and this blog is the need for others to react. But I am now realizing that this blog and my writing shouldn’t be about fulfilling other’s needs, it should be about me enjoying my creative process. With this in mind I pondered on a subject to put pen to paper (so to speak) that would be a tribute to my creativity and finding joy.

Most of you know that I have showcased my creative thoughts, talents, and passion through the world of Agriculture Fairs. This love affair started at a very young age ( https://alittlebitaboutalotofthings.com/2019/08/18/career-paths-101/ ) and catapulted me into a career journey for the past thirty plus years. From enjoying as a visitor to creating the guest’s journey, there isn’t an aspect of the annual event that I have not experienced. May is California Fair appreciation month So here is my tribute to an industry that has fostered my creative mind for years.

What better way to kick off your family’s summer than creating memories in your own backyard. By far the greatest way to immerse yourself into the creative process is by being part of the show. You may wonder how in the world do I achieve this; easy enter in the Exhibits Department. A great man and former Fair leader, Stephen Chambers use to come and share his wisdom with my Introduction the Fair Management class each spring. By far my favorite take away was when he would ask the students what is the difference between fairs and festivals? “Fair’s celebrate the success of ordinary citizens”, would be his answer. What he meant is that anybody can enter their “creativity” at the Fair, be it baking, sewing, photography, gardening, etc and so on. The Competitive Exhibit Department is the heart of a Fair, no ifs, ands, or buts.

How do you become part of the competition, well that is very easy. All you need to do is go online and find the website of your local, county or state fair and look under Competitive Exhibits. There will be a guide to explain in detail the “world of all things” you can enter. Check it out, it’s will truly spark your creative juices. There is no bigger sense of pride than walking through a display and see your prize winning strawberry jam with a big blue ribbon. https://alittlebitaboutalotofthings.com/2013/08/22/the-art-of-competition/

This website will also be a huge resource to plan your day at the Fair. Everything from admission information to entertainment will be at your fingertips. Let me let you in on the world’s biggest kept secret, people (full time, part time, volunteers, boards) spend easily a year to eighteen months creating these magical days at the Fair. If I had a dollar for every time I was asked what I did the rest of the year when the front gates weren’t open, well I would own a condo on a beach in Maui. The planning, the budgets, the contracts, the outside vendors, the list goes on and on. The amount of time and resources that have went into even the smallest county Fair would boggle your mind. It is an art piece that consumes your mind 24 hours a day and it never seems complete. Go and enjoy their labor of love, they have earned it.

My journey includes working at some of the best Fairs in the nation, but teaching Fair Management allowed me to embark in the celebration of Agriculture Fairs globally. If you still don’t know where to start your Fair tour, here are some of my favorites.

Let’s start by dreaming big or some might even say create a “bucket list.”

1 – The Calgary Stampede in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Known as the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth, is a must see for any true fan of all things Fairs. My first visit was in 2003 and I have been fortunate enough to visit two more times since, even taking a group of students. Why I marvel at this event, there are too many reasons to list. But let’s sum it up with a single word, community. I have yet to experience an event that the moment you walk off the airplane you feel the energy. The city of Calgary embraces the 10 day Fair as a though it is a national holiday. One will be part of the show before they even stroll through the gates. And once you do well game on. From the Chuck Wagon Races to the daily rodeo (did I mention the have their own rodeo stock company) from the agricultural exhibits to the food and Canadian flavor, it is a trip you will never forget. Trust me it is an E ticket ride worth riding over and over and over again.

2 – Salon de l’Agriculture in Paris, France. This annual event happens in late February or early March and is nothing like it’s state side cousins. My visit occurred the day after arriving on my first oversee voyage and I wasn’t expecting to encounter what awaited past the gates. This may be the most agricultural based Fair I have ever witnessed. The Livestock Area wasn’t huge but the entries were impressive. Yet, that wasn’t even the crowning moment for me. There is a full carcass exhibit with live chef demonstrations. Commercial exhibits are actual booths from French regions showcasing their products. Can you say cheese, wine, chocolate, are the visions of sugar plums dancing in your head? But wait there is more, food concessions are actual restaurants that come and serve their menu. And lastly, they had a huge cat show. I dare you to find anything in comparison in your own backyard. Did I mention that the winning cattle had actual medals around their necks?

3 – The Royal Adelaide Show in Adelaide, Australia. This one is on my bucket list as I have only visited the grounds in the interim season. Seeing photos of the Wine Show and the Merino sheep show have me dreaming of the day that I can enjoy all the feels in person. Couple of cool take away from my non-fair time visit, one they have public transportation drops on either end of the grounds. The train has a stop, as well as the tram system. Talk about no parking hassle. Two, on January 26 of each year when they swear in the new Australia citizens on Australia Day, the Royal Adelaide Show gives each new “Australian” a season pass to the early fall event. How cool is that? Australia filled me with creative Fair thoughts that I will cherish forever. https://alittlebitaboutalotofthings.com/2015/03/25/our-state-fair-is-a-great-state-fair-dont-miss-dont-even-be-late

Right about now I bet you are saying to yourself, “Jacky how about something in my own backyard?” Before I share a few places that captured my heart, I would like to place this disclaimer that I have never met a Fair I didn’t like. And because my blog posts need to try and stay in a readable length, if I left off your favorite, please share in the comments for all to enjoy.

1 – The California Mid-State Fair in Paso Robles, California. I have to start off with where my love affair began. This is my hometown Fair where I won my first blue ribbon, showed my first grand champion lamb and if the truth be told was actually the Fair queen in 1986. And thanks to Vivian Robertson, this is my first job in this incredible industry. Why go visit, well the obvious is the decades long tradition of big name entertainment. Fairgoers travel hours to see their favorite musical artist every July. But me my favorite part holds a special spot in my heart for many reasons. There is a little area nestled between two commercial buildings called Mission Square. Yes, it is a creative endeavor of yours truly, but it is so much more. It celebrates the amazing Central Coast wine industry. Features local products, chef demonstrations, an artisan craft cocktail competition and the sampling of olive oil. There is music, shade and a feeling that you are no longer on a fairgrounds. Who needs to go local wine tasting, it’s all there waiting for you in one place.

2- The San Diego County Fair in Del Mar, California. How many times have you road a Ferris Wheel and looked out into the Pacific Ocean? But the uniqueness of this month long event doesn’t stop or even start in the Fun Zone. Known for its amazing celebration of the Fair theme, there is an entire building celebrating the annual hook. From the amazing Mad About the Fair (a nod to Alice in Wonderland) to this year’s Let’s Go Retro celebration, they dig their heels into creating a new gig annually. But Jacky what’s the hidden gem? Let me assure you, there are quite a few. The Design in Wood exhibit is like nothing I have ever encountered in all my Fair gypsies days. Imagine the finest wood craft entries immersed in an actual wood shop. It is a very special place that the love of the art hits you the moment you walk in the door. Other creative highlights not to miss is the Gems and Minerals Show, Flower Show, Photography and Garden Show. And if you are into art, the pop up art gallery built in the middle of the pari-mutuel stalls of the first floor of the grandstand is a destination all by itself.

3 – Monterey County Fair in Monterey, California. This quintessential small Fair hosts two exhibits that one just doesn’t discover every day. Remember how I began this blog by encouraging one to participate? Well Monterey sits in the heart of the Salinas Valley and the commercial produce growers all compete in the Agriculture Horticulture Department. Walking into this building ones’ senses are stimulated with the freshest greens money can buy. Farm to Table is displayed with the bounty of blue and purple ribbons galore. Further down the grounds, tucked away in a small building is the wool show. A room full of prizes winning fleeces where the floor is lined with spinners creating magic from the raw product. And if you are in need of a new fleece for your next knitting project, stop by on the final morning and be the winning bidder on the pelt of your choice.

4- The Lodi Grape Festival in Lodi California. This may be the smallest event on my list. If you are looking for a junior livestock show you will not find one on this campus. But what you will find is the most creative competition. Entrants create 8 x 12 foot grape murals. Wait … what are you talking about Jacky? This is a creative competition that has a huge dose of patience. Competitions are given the Fair theme and then spend months designing the concept and layout. The week leading up to the Fair, they begin placing grapes one by one to create this ultimate work of art. Go, see, it is unreal and while you are there be sure to partake in a lovely glass of Lodi wine.

5 – The Indiana State Fair in Indianapolis, Indiana. Have you ever seen the 1945 classic State Fair? Well although that story shares the journey of a family at the Iowa State Fair, the grand feeling it beholds can easily be encountered with a day at the Indiana State Fair. Honestly it may take more than one day to truly embrace all the event has to offer. My treat is for anyone that has ever exhibited livestock. A must see if the new state of the art Hog Show Barn. Every last detail has been thought about with both the exhibitor and fairgoer in mind. Stunning, marvelous, mindful, are just a few words that still do not do it justice. If you are a livestock show junkie, seeing is believing.

6 – The Kentucky State Fair in Louisville, Kentucky. This multi day event checks every box in a day at the Fair experience. Here I had my first encounter with Tobacco judging and a variety of Ham competitions. Yes, Country Hams are huge in Kentucky. The 4-H show in 2023 had just over 1,000 Country Ham projects showcased. And speaking of youth programs, the State Fairs in this neck of the woods do an outstanding job celebrating 4-H and FFA members’ achievements. With thousands of square feet devoted to youth entries, one could spend a day just learning about the impact these vital programs make each and every day on our future leaders.

This list could go on and on, but I am going to pause right here and challenge you to go find that hidden gem at your local Fair. Trust me there are still many wonderful annual Fairs that I have yet to explore. We all think of the corn dogs, carnival rides and entertainment, but I bet if you search deep enough you will discover a whole new aspect of your community. It is high time for everyone to go out and celebrate their local Fair. And maybe, just maybe it will inspire you to flex your creativity and set your sights on that sought after blue ribbon.

The cover photo is of Tisha, Peggy and I roughly four days before the front gates open at the California Mid-State Fair. A freak tropical storm blew through Paso Robles late on Saturday night and come Sunday morning everything was flooded and full of mud. This is us dragging furniture, props and decor out of Mission Square. A day that we shall never forget.

May 28, 2024 1

Talk to Me Goose ….. Communication Insights

“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey

The telephone game was a childhood backyard staple many moons ago. Conveying information through a long line of willing sharers with the basic principle that the message being received at the other end would be in perfect tact. We can all guess how that usually played out. Fast forward to today and why as adults do we still struggle to get our message across fault free?

I have been truly fortunate to work with a very gifted person, Beth Wonson. Her true talent is constructing the art of communication. Sharing her insight and developing skills like a painter brushing strokes across a canvas, she makes the simple task of conveying our messages seem easy to breakdown and navigate. Being a true believer in her methods, I was invited to her first ever Navigating Challenging Dialogue® workshop. It was two days filled with “aha moments”. Leaving with my trusty notebook, tools acquired and a strong belief, I was ready to test the teachings out in the real world. Many lessons worked, some evaporated and a few really good nuggets became part of my sharing culture. There has not been a time since, that when faced with exchange challenges that I don’t hear Beth in my ear, giving a clear perspective on how to tackle the issue.

With formal training and years of experience, I honestly feel that I grasp the art of communication. Yet over my years in the classroom and in the work place I often find myself scratching my head wondering why my words have been left misunderstood? Even now as I convey my thoughts through this writing, I hope my message comes through the other end in full narrative.

Communication is tough, period, end of story. This blog has been percolating in my brain for a very long time. “I wish communication was better”, rings out in the wide open office spaces across America. I wrote earlier this year with regards to over using the word trigger. But after careful consideration, communication can easily give trigger a run for its money. How many times are we in earshot of someone saying “the problem is lack of communication”? So here goes my attempt to communicate my two cents on this complicated verb.

My guess if I took a quick survey many people would say that communication is the number one issue with either their work place, home life, or relationship with the world. Breaking it down to its foundation there are two basic principles that can cause the old telephone game to break down, delivery method and content shared.

First and foremost, we have all forgotten that communication is a two-way street. To hear someone, say, “that wasn’t communicated to me,” always leaves me scratching my head wondering, did the person even take the time to ask the question in the first place or did they expect through osmosis to read their mind?

People you can stand on your soapbox and scream “I am not getting information”, but if you aren’t actively trying to find the answers, how does the other party know what knowledge you desire. For example, one person may share very detailed information that they feel is essential to a project, yet the person on the other end may need completely different facts. Beth teaches the importance of clarifying questions. To communicate successfully you must inquire what needs to be shared, how it needs to be shared and if you understand what has been shared. I find the best way to use this skill is when receiving information, state it back to clarify you are truly absorbing the subject matter.

Once the content can be agreed upon, do you know how you like to be feed information? And leaders do you know how your people like to receive communication? I applaud the world for its advancement in technology, but human connection trumps an electronic devise. Being a firm believer of “people networking” is light years more effective than connection through the cloud over the space continuum, here is what I know about myself. The message needs to fit the platform for me to “hear it”.

A simple rule of thumb is the longer the content, the more traditional platform for delivery. Quick facts, phone numbers, addresses, a heads up send me over a text. Planning a meeting or sharing a document, email is a fabulous option. But, if you need to tell me something that is a detailed process or requires a discussion, the last place I want the information is in an electronic form. My brain shuts down about three lines into an email. And ponder this, how much emails and texts do you receive daily? The amount of clutter that clogs the pathways of communication is beyond measure. If you don’t want your message to get lost in the noise, why wouldn’t you just pick up the phone and have a conversation? Or here is a novel concept, walk over and find the person to discuss live and in person.

If you haven’t figured it out, I am still a strong believer in personal connections. When Maverick utters the famous words, “talk to me goose”, he was searching for answers. As we continue to lean away from communicating the old fashion way, we are slowly forgetting how to take responsibility for the information that we send out or look to receive. I am not suggesting that we all go back to paper and pen (as noted with the Valentines in the Rose Garden in Adelaide in the cover photo), but there is a need for pause to think before we share. At the end of the day communication requires people to be successful. Know your audience, know your content and have the faith that someone is listening, and just maybe your voice will be heard.

May 8, 2024 0

Our Favorite Red Head… Why we Love T

“I would rather regret the things I have done, than the things I haven’t” – Lucille Ball

Today is the 40^th trip around the sun for a little red headed girl. Born and raised in a quiet country town, she evokes all things that one would expect from a rural life prodigy. She stepped into my life at the tender age of sixteen and overnight became part of not only my family, but our larger than life extended clan.

You may wonder why I think I am an expert to write a little something about this very unique person and my answer is simple. I know this girl pretty damn well! I have been her boss, her professor, and her travel companion. She is the big sister my kids never knew they needed and I can’t imagine a family gathering her face wasn’t present.

Teresa cares bigger than life for more people than I could ever count, so I reached out to the group and asked for T – isms in a group text. The responses were all over the board, but a selfless, adventurous nature did seem to become a theme. The actual text chain was pretty entertaining and had us all laughing. I will note some direct quotes where fitting. Don’t worry Teresa, I will edit Doris and Floris comments and share only true love and admiration.

So here is forty fun facts, cool traits, and loving thoughts to help her remember just how special she truly is to her world.

Teresa’s Fabulous Forty –

40 . T is always down for a good time (From Nolan but Bubba agreed 100%)

39. Never leaves a glass empty (yours or hers) (P Tuck)

38. Great trip planner to the last detail (Lilly)

37. Well Traveled

36. Can talk to Anyone about Anything

35. Tackles every last detail like a true Champion

34. Resourceful

33. Friends are Family and Family are Friends

32. Amazing Aunt

31. Has many nicknames and terms of endearment (T, Red T, STD, etc)

30. Diversified Career Hats

29. Sends the best cards (Tisha)

28. First to send you Starbucks $ on your birthday (Kayla Jo)

27. Looks after People

26. Great Tacos

24. Supportive Softball Coach

25. Pumpkin Master & amazing Homemade Pies

23. The Closer (bring her in to finish a job)

22. Dinner the night before the Fair Opens

21. Well versed in many subjects

20. Recalls one-liners from movies and TV (News Flash … Good thing I didn’t know that)

19. Bubble Lover (Joe)

18. Heart bigger than the Universe

17. Huge sense of Adventure

16. Great at Surprises

15. Loves her Siblings and Cousins

14. Doesn’t know the word “No”

13. Welcomes Strangers

12. Always Present

11. Sports Lover, as a Spectator or Participant

10. In a sea of blonds and brunettes she wears her red hair proudly

9. Loves her Sleep

8. Orchid Growing Queen – Green Thumb

7. Extreme Honesty, even when you don’t want to hear it!

6. Never shows up Empty Handed

5. Expert use of copiers (she will know)

4. Will try anything once, even salad

3. She will fight to the death to support her cause or have your back

2. A ride or die to the better end

I think Lucille Ball summed up the number one trait that I admire about T the best. Lucy noted, “Love yourself first and everything will fall into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” The reason she has so much love to give to the world is that she is true to herself, good or bad, right or wrong, and that type of love should be cherished.

Teresa, as you can see, you are loved more than we always show. But at the end of the day, I think Nolan summed it up the best with this text. “All jokes aside, T is very thoughtful and never misses anyone’s birthday or important holiday. She’s always thinking of others before herself, whether it be coaching or hanging with us and that is a trait that is hard to find nowadays”.

Happy Birthday T, I don’t need to say be fabulous, because we taught you that at a young age. Make good choices and know you have all the well wishes in the world for you today.

April 27, 2024 0

It’s Kinda a Funny Story

Sometimes you’ll forget precisely what happened, but if a story touches you it will stay with you, haunting the places in your mind that you rarely ever visit. ~ Neil Gaiman

This week we celebrate a very special person’s birthday.

Actually, we celebrate two of the most important people in my life that just so happen to share the same March 7th birthday. My grandma Roberta was everything to me growing up. She taught me so many skills, how to read music, to sew, crochet, even bait a hook. Her talents were endless. On her 80th birthday, I missed her party as I had a more pressing engagement, the birth of my beautiful, red headed, baby girl Miss Kayla Jo.

Sometime in her teens, Kayla started the infamous birthday week. During her college days, birthday week took on a life of its own. Not being able to celebrate her in-person, I would post a “Kayla Jo Fact” on social media and she would get a small gift that day. Those of you that have experienced may have been wondering why you haven’t seen any KJ posts the past week. Well this year I get to be with my girl in person as she rings in her final year of her twenties. This celebration will a multi-day live event, far better than any birthday week.

This girl has accomplished more in 29 years than most people do in a lifetime. If we were to play the game what two things are true out of three about Kayla, my three things would be.

She was the first student to skip getting her masters at Oklahoma State University in Ag Econ department and go straight to her doctorate.
Kayla had a severe speech issue for the first six years of her life, yet went onto have highly competitive livestock judging career scoring high in oral reasons.
She currently owns two homes in two different states. Kayla has taken her love of Sims as a kid and transformed the passion into remodeling each with the help of her dad.

Which one is false, well I actually tricked you, all our true. Kayla is my silent child, yet if she calls you better be ready for an hour-long chat. This girl has her own sense of style and radiates beauty inside and out. She reminds me of grandma Roberta with her no fear attitude, creative energy and adventurous spirit. Can you tell I am a pretty proud mom?

However this birthday week is taking the celebration to the next level. Beyond having me in her midst on her special day Kayla will have two of my most special friends. One was even in the delivery room when Kayla decided to join our clan. Kayla dreamed up this request Christmas week and her wishes are coming true to have Brandy and Tisha out on the town. The only lacking character is her Aunt Stacy, which in all honesty I am not sure the Land of Lincoln is ready for the four of us “grown-ups” on holiday.

As we have been planning our Chicago escapade it got me thinking about my writing journey.

Brandy and Tisha have been two of my biggest cheerleaders since day one. Knowing my initial dream was a fictional book, Tisha was the one that said what don’t you start writing about what you are good at… like collecting points for our travel. Yes, I am the United Miles, Hilton Honors, Starbucks etc and so person. Over time my blogs seem to reflect more of one of my college lesson plans than a John Grisham novel. Some thought or concept followed by a take away or a strategic approach to how to accomplish. But no real story telling.

Why haven’t I made the jump to writing stories? I even have a blog about trying my hand at short stories but nothing has followed. Well the truth of the matter is that my life adventures (especially with Tisha, Brandy and my cousin Stacy) are way better than fiction. Maybe my writers block stems from reality hindering the make believe? So as our “band” (as Brandy so pointedly coined us) goes on tour through the Windy City making blog worthy memories, I thought I would share a small snippet of life on the road with the greatest non singing group ever.

Circa the early 2010s somewhere at a Hilton property

It was a warm, sunny day in Sonoma County. Tisha and I had spent the day making our way north for our annual olive oil judging event. When we started the Central Coast Olive Oil Competition, we soon realized to keep the costs down, economically sound choice was for us to take the entries to the experts than try and bring all the judges to Paso Robles. The residual effect we discovered after the first year was we got to spend a few days in a pretty fabulous area. Exploring the region and learning about their commodities helped us create a better competition and attract new entries.

We had unloaded the oils and sat the room up for judging that would begin the following morning. We returned to our room and decided that why we waited for Brandy (I know shocking twist) we would open our favorite bottle of rose and take our glasses to relax by the pool. Grabbing a couple of room towels to sit on, two go vinos and our liquid entertainment and away we went. The area was pretty empty with a father and son in the pool and the whirl pool empty. We decided the empty spa was calling us and sat up camp. Placing our feet in the warm water for a well needed rest, the quiet of the early evening just before sunset brought a peace to the space.

Now the smartest thing we did was take our cell phones with us, at the time it was the source to keep in touch with our travel buddy but proved to be our life line latter. Sitting in the serene space, enjoying our wine and exchanging a few words the world felt pretty good. But in an instant the still was gone. The father son duo from the pool decided to interrupt our private gathering. I don’t recall their names or the details of their faces but the man’s presence is ingrained in my mind forever.

He was large man both in personality and physical statue. Had an air of Jersey shore meets a dude that drove a muscle car in high school and now dresses in finest velour sweat suits. His hair was slicked back from the pool water and his hand held one of those Club Vodka drinks one could purchase at your neighborhood 7/11. As he and his son slide in the other side of the sauna he began to strike up a conversation. I knew instantly that this was going to be a meeting we wouldn’t soon forget.

Why you might ask everything word turn into a another adventure in wonderland down a rabbit hole. He immediatley asked us our names. My response was quickly ignored as he spun around to catch Tisha’s words. She barely got out “Tisha”, when he blurted out I can’t call you that without making my wife mad. You see my ex-girlfriend’s name is Tisha he said in a hushed tone as to not allow anyone to hear his dilemma. “What is your last name?” And at the moment Tucker was now the name of the person sitting next to me sipping on a glass of Domaine Tempier Bandol Rose. He then graciously reached over with his beverage to see if we would like some added to our glass. The small can had an odor of rubbing alcohol and we motion to our bottle of wine to indicate we were fine.

The question and answer period of the episode began. This is when we began periodically scanning our cells as if a pressing emergency was about to unfold. “What do you do for a living?” he asked. Figuring to not open the dialogue of why we were actually there, I replied “I am a college professor.” My response to his occupation question teaching at Cal Poly sent him down the path of praising his son’s keen math skills. You could tell the young man began to nervously plan his escape when his dad blurted out “give him a math problem.” I have to admit this stumped me for a moment as to how to navigate my response. I could see the poor boy wasn’t about to solve a production function so I just asked “How do you solve math equations, do you see in your head or have any special tricks?” The facts of his answer are irrelevant as his actions were more important to the story. He jumped out of the water, grabbed his towel and looked over his shoulder stated I am “heading to find mom”. And the boy was gone, and then there were three.

Silence had returned to our world but the peace was totally gone. Tucker and I sat there alone with our new pal. The next action took every ounce of our being to not react or burst out laughing. He made his way across the body of water, reached under where I was sitting, took the towel I was sitting on, wiped his face and returned the material. Stunned we both took to our cells and began texting each other. Trying to change the subject and praying for Brandy’s arrival, we began on a quest of information gathering of pure nonsense.

We soon discovered any topic he did it better and bigger than anyone. His life was built on having the best and he was true in his pursuit. Throwing out subjects like shooters at a dart board, we soon learn there was a style to his responses. Any topic would start with “Well it’s kinda a funny story”, a middle, and wrap up with how it was the best ever. His wife wanted a cat “ Well it’s kinda funny story, if we were going to get a cat it had to be the best. I did my research and I bought her a $1,000 cat, it is the best cat ever.” “How did you meet your wife?” “Well it’s kinda a funny story, I owned a car dealership it was the best in the Oxnard area, she was a model, yada yada yada and I was the best so she went with me”, he continued this for what felt like hours. Looking back the one saving grace to the story, we never really told him anything about us other than our names. We didn’t need to, he was the best talker we had ever met. He even told us how is wife was a fair queen in Paso Robles and got to pinch Clint Black’s butt. I gave Tucker the death glare to not reveal my little pageant secret and we escaped the sharing of information portion of the encounter unscathed.

How did this all end, where is the cliff hanger, honestly, I can’t recall. I do know Brandy arrived, we went back to our room and never traveled by the pool again. But what I can say with all certainty, there aren’t many conversations that ole Tucker and I don’t use “Well it’s kinda a funny story”. Over the next few days I can confidently declare a few things will happen, Kayla Jo will have an epic 29^th birthday, there will be lots of champagne consumed, and more than one moment will be remembered in the future with the start “Well it’s kinda a funny story.”

Happy Birthday Kayla Jo – Love You to the Moon and Back

March 5, 2024 1

Let the Sparks Fly

“Never forget the essence of your spark” – TS

*My three biggest sparks and their smiles are proof of joy in my heart*.

The past couple of years we have heard the term trigger used in a variety of ways. From upsetting an individual to the more unfortunate “pulling the trigger”, the weight of this very word has grown beyond an episode of my 600lb Life. Such a simple notion has went from a real, medical definition for some to an attempt to create a world covered in padded protectors for others. Filled with so much unconstructive energy and beyond over used, I began not using the phrase when explaining my reaction to certain events.

Being one to put my best Pollyanna hat on, I try to look for the ounce of positivity in every moment. Last year the trigger mine field was taking its toll on my thoughts until I had a break thru this summer while reading a social media post. I know, how ironic, a method of communication that results in multiple trigger moments daily, I found the counter balance to those hair shifting actions. The post introduced the concept of “glimmers”; the celebration of the encounters that bring you joy.

The concept wasn’t completely foreign to my way of thinking. My last post noted having the opposite reaction to events, was this the same outcome just wrapped in a different package? If we are busy searching for glimmers will we have less time to be triggered?

As the months past, I pondered writing this blog and sharing my experience. Yet my attempts keep falling short. Thinking of the two forces, picturing an old school scale with triggers on one side and glimmers on the other side, the weight just seemed to lean to the former. Then like a meteor falling from the sky it hit me, I needed a stronger word to battle the Goliath. What should this new beckon of light exhume; hope, growth, power, joy or just about anything that expresses the feelings that brings a smile to your face. The Oxford Dictionary defines a spark as “a trace of a specified quality or intense feeling”. Intense feeling, now that has some muscle. Sparks can grow and turn into something magnificent such as true love. The Frank Sonnenberg quote suggests, “You never know when you’re creating a spark that will last forever”. The momentum continued build and spark became my new word.

Don’t get me wrong, part of a healthy journey is learning to navigate life’s ups and downs. I was very fortunate this week to welcome Kiah Burchett to my Equine Marketing class. She did an amazing job communicating to the students about creating your personal brand. But the part of her talk that really resonated with me was how we have to experience valleys in our life to enjoy the peaks. As she pointed out the consequences of your heart monitor being flat, a young man blurted out, “you would be dead”. Doesn’t it hold true to be truly alive we have to feel the triggers and the sparks?

Encountering the upcoming generations (Gen Z and Alpha), through my life or others around me, there is a huge population of adults flat lining our youth. They are creating a world (or at least attempting) were there are no downs. Furthermore, there are no consequences when you create your own valley due to bad choices. I raised three children who experienced their share of joy and heartbreak. Did it melt me when they were disappointed or had bad luck fall their way, absolutely? Were they miserable to be around when they had to pay the piper for wrong deeds, defiantly. Development into a happy human requires you to first learn what unhappiness feels like deep inside your core. Emotions and joy grow from experiencing the “trigger” moments. Disappointment flexes our emotional heart muscle. Seriously how does one gain compassion if they can’t identify suffering or misfortune. Once one can differentiate between dark and light, that is when the sparks become visible.

When I picture a spark, the first thing that comes to mind is a fire fly. Not common in California, but on a summer night in Kentucky they can light up your backyard. They aren’t a big bug, super fun to find and keep you searching for more. The key is once you discover one, stop and acknowledge and celebrate, if only for a minute. Let the good bring you joy, take a breath for yourself, give it the same space and respect you would if you were triggered. And unlike a trigger (that I suggest you release once it comes) store the good in your soul.

Where do I find sparks, good question? Pondering that while my brain was sorting through these thoughts, I began thinking of how I capture my “fire flies”.

1 – Many moons ago, circa 2000 I made a list of things I like. I still have the journal and a page full of pure Jackyness. I get that we have morphed into a society of technology, laptops and tablets have replaced paper and pen, but I am old school. To really get something to touch my soul I like to write it down. One could even say, a good journal would light my world up like the Fourth of July.

Curious to what was on my list? Oak trees and gardenias, the smell of rain and the sound of the ocean, inspiration and projects with an end, my list is pretty broad. Reading it today it is funny how so much of the contents hold true today. Giving myself this gentle reminder of my turn of the century thoughts will aid in my search of sparks in my daily life.

2 – That being said, be on the lookout, constantly. Reflecting of the earlier paragraphs, you can’t appreciate the spark if you don’t take the time to acknowledge one when it lands in your lap. During Covid the entire Exhibits Department at the San Diego County Fair was laid off, except me. Having to wear the hats of many talented people created new work for me on a daily basis. One day when I figured out a computer program that wasn’t normally part of my workload, I “high fived” myself. It was spontaneous one arm went up and it was met with a clap from its partner. In this moment this simple act was born. I acknowledged how great it felt, how proud I was of my achievement, and begun using this motion more and more.

3 – Similar to keeping yourself open for sparks, figure out ways to put your mind in the right space. I have written many times about one of my favorite teaching tools, the book the Happiness Advantage. The lessons are to put ourselves in the mental, physical and emotional state to be happy. From looking forward to a future event to exercise and mediation, create the space for sparks. If we are busy running around being triggered we will never catch a glimmer much less a spark.

Lets face it, things will be said, acts will be done, life will punch us in the gut and we will react. We can’t prevent this from happening to ourselves or our loved ones, no matter how hard we try the downs are part of god’s plan. But we can change our focus to search for the ups, however small, to remind us that there is always a rainbow after the storm. Find your joy, embrace the spark and remember the words of Taylor Swift, “’Cause I see sparks fly, whenever you smile”.

February 15, 2024 3

All Things on God’s Time – A Patience Workout

“Patience is when you’re supposed to get mad, but choose to understand instead” – Anonymous

We have all heard the old saying “Patience is a Virtue.” A phrase originated by English poet William Langland in the 1300’s, the quote has stood the test of time as a golden rule. The Bible also applauds the virtues of patience noting that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace and patience. But as I look around the world today, we are seriously lacking in this practice. Why has our patience muscle became flabby and weak?

January brings the beginning of a new year and the yearning of change and self-improvement. Gym memberships clog the airwaves and on-line streams are filled with home remedies for working out. The act of moving and getting in shape, burns calories and tones our physique. But what about strengthening some of our non-physical muscles? If we don’t exercise our virtues could we develop patience atrophy?

The other day I was watching an episode of Seinfeld. Kramer and Ellen were headed to the local video store to rent the latest VHS movie. As I watched the interchange with the store clerk of which new releases were available, I begin to remember what life was like prior to streaming devices and Amazon prime. In the little town of Templeton, we had one video store. I recall going in and placing your name on a list (pad and pen) to be next in line to rent the latest movie. We had to exercise patience and the reward was getting the phone call to come and enjoy the latest blockbuster.

Technology has made our lives more efficient, information more readily available and increased our ability to communicate tenfold. One single device, the cell phone, developed our instant gratification muscle into an Olympic athlete. We flex it daily as we text, call and email our people and expect immediate response. And when a answer doesn’t land in our lap within seconds we go into instant panic mode. Making up stories of why the other party is not responding. No thought or care that the person in question might be busy living their life, having a meal, or god forbid being present for another human being free from said device. The amount of patience used is zero. Is there is a direct inverse correlation between wanting our satisfaction immediately and our ability to sit quietly and wait? Or has the universe turned our lives on a perpetual fast forward speed?

Who hasn’t experienced that breaking point when we loose our cool. As we end that last day of the first month of the new year, lets lean into self improvement and all go into training and increase our stamina of being patient. Being a good personal trainer, I have come up with a weekly exercise plan for improving patience tone and endurance.

1 – Slow Down. As the title of the blog suggests, all things on God’s time. I use to relish in the fact that I could multi-task 24/7. Living in a constant state of being “on” raises your nerves and anxiety. Nothing can snap your patience in half than being in a hurry. Slowing down and taking one step at a time gives you space in the world and lessons the temptation to swing at those unforseen curve balls.

2 – React unexpectedly and do the opposite. I read an article recently that focused on not getting caught up in the expected results. Something goes wrong and you lose your cool. Why not instead counter with the complete opposite gut reaction and see how that feels? The other day I gave this a try while driving to dinner.

In Louisville many of the main roads have a lane down the middle that allows one to use as a “waiting spot” for traffic to clear. I was sitting in my car making a left hand turn when a lady pulled directly in front of me from the opposite direction. Her destination was further down and needed me to turn before she could complete her trip. She began to wave her hands, share not nice jesters, and basically throw a fit in her front seat like a three year old. My normal reaction would have been to try and hurry to cross the two lanes to my destination or share some not nice motion back. But instead I sat there knowing I could not move safely so I just raised my hands and gave her the heart sign with my hands.

I am unsure how my response affected her, but it made the whole incident irrelevant to my state of mind. Instead of being agitated or upset, I was completely at peace. I was patient, crossed safely and went about my business. Try the opposite exercise next time someone says or does something that would normally trigger you to react negatively and feel your patience muscle flex.

3 – Be prepared. I like to make my bed every morning. Originally this gave me a sense of completing a task to start my day. But over time I have discovered this little act provides me a sense of calm when the day is down. I have added to this process with washing the sheets right before a trip. Coming home to not only a made bed but a clean one is pure bless. Other little pieces of preparedness I have implemented are cleaning out my vacuum bag and filters after I use the appliance. Leaving items in a perfect state of use for the next time brings peace and aides in a patience neutral experience.

4 – Listen to your mother. If you have nothing nice to say, keep it to yourself. I know that is easier said than done. But as I watch the world react to one another across social platforms or comment boards, it is obvious that many feel an overwhelming need to throw out negative criticism. Patience can’t not develop in a negative environment. Like protein to your bicep, patience requires positive energy to build and develop.

5 – Take care of a pet. Having Louie in my life has been like joining a hard-core boot camp. You think a rep of burpees is tough, try an eight-week-old baby velociraptor disguised as a chocolate lab puppy. He has pushed my practicing of patience further than any paid personal trainer. Between the tears, torn up items, tripping over his toys and downright worrying about him like a child, he has really bulked me up to maximum performance over the last year.

6 – Put some grace in the space. My final exercise stems from my lessons with Beth Wonson. Give others time to react to your request. Build space around your expectations. Similar to slowing down or doing the opposite, giving communications, issues, or life a chance to catch its breath will develop patience. Set expectations for yourself and share frequently. A great example could be with responding to emails. If you know you are someone who is busy and only gets to your inbox once a day, try creating an automatic response informing others that you received their message and will respond within 24 hours. Eliminate the rush, the need to make up a story, or create negative energy.

Our daily life 30 or even 10 years ago had built in patience exercises. Similar to PE being mandatory in school, we worked out these muscles on a daily basis. Waiting was a given and we cherished the reward that time took to deliver results. Putting these daily drills into your life won’t eliminate the frustration of traffic or sitting on hold endlessly, but boy won’t you admire your improved stamina and energy as you wait for all things on God’s time.

(Cover photo is Nolan enjoying his favorite past time at one of his most cherished locations, Torrey Pines. Golf a true exercise in patience.)

January 31, 2024 0

The Lost Year of 2023

“If you’re “too much” for them….. they’re not enough for you.” – Coffee Cup Mantra

The other day I received an email from WordPress with statistics of my year in review. Although I had visitors and many views, there was no new content. Much to my surprise I never wrote in 2023. Wow can that be true? Yes, I know I have been hit and miss over the past decade, but not one entry? Combine this fact with the recently discovered 2023 planner that was completely blank. The opening page stated “How will you bloom?” and solicited the planner to create a mission statement for their ideal year. Why was my last year void and what the heck happened to 2023?

The list is long, not much fun, very cumbersome and at times full of negative energy, but the answer was simple; I got lost in 2023. Not fully a surprise. I recall a morning drive in July and having the realization that I didn’t have the same relationship to music. The joy I found in little things, a song on the radio, a great bite of food, finding the groove in a project, these were all nonexistent in my daily ritual. Instead I was caught in a hamster wheel of trying to keep all the balls in the air while pleasing the masses.

Now I am not placing blame or not taking responsibility for my current state of affairs, this is more getting down to the foundation and assessing the situation. Letting my economic background take a hold of my brain, I started looking at the variables and limiting restraints in my life. Pretty much my entire landscape has changed. My X’s and Y’s were foreign. Living more miles than I care to think about from family and friends, no familiar surroundings, and lets just add it to the mix.. life with a dog (I do love Louie but he is a major change) nothing in my world has been the same. Allowing my environment to hold constant I need to improve my X to get the greatest return of joy out of Y.

What were the successful pieces in the past? Accepting that my function didn’t change overnight, let’s examine the timeline. In January of 2019 there was the phone call from the mammogram department at Sharp requesting I come in for additional testing. From that day forward life seemed to keep handing out new variables of constant change (including the fun filled adventure we all experienced called “Covid”). Now 1,825 days later, the variables have altered so many times that I feel more like a finished 2,000-piece puzzle that looks nothing like the box cover.

Then it dawned on me, I have been here before. Many, many moons ago I experienced much of the same feelings of life kicking over my apple cart and jumping all over my fruit. When my surroundings were different, the people weren’t my friends (at first) and the subject matter was very new and extremely scary.

When I was 11 years old, my parents divorced. My brother and I found ourselves outside our normal, small town of Templeton (800 people at the time) world and thrust into the hip, beach community of Carpinteria. Living in a condo and not on our farm with all our livestock was culture shock. Most frightening was walking into a 6^th grade classroom with 20 plus strange faces looking back at me.

You see I started kindergarten with the same group of kids that I had shared a school room with for the past half dozen years. There were no surprises, I knew where we all stood in the world of grammar school politics. I can tell you that Jack Greer and Marty Gonzales would get chosen first for teams, that Eddy McGill was the fastest boy in class and most importantly that my desk would always be next to my very best friend Shawna Moore.

Yet on this October day just shy of Halloween, my mother marched my brother and I into Main Elementary School. I can picture that first day like it was yesterday. I had to sit in the office while my mother finished our paperwork. Talk about being in a fish bowl. Kids’ faces would cruise by the window all looking at the new girl. Soon I was whisk off to meet my new class mates. Mr. Carrillo was my teacher and he was a big guy. He ran his room in a loose but structured style. I soon learned that many of my classmates lived in the same neighborhood. But I also was quick to discover that some of the students did not welcome strangers. I was threatened and even ran away from school one afternoon. Lucky for me I had a great teacher and librarian that saw the need in a lost little girl and decided to choose my first friend for me.

Lisa Gray was the daughter of the local dentist, had a very similar appearance to me and loved to read. The school adults saw something in both of us and very silently placed us together. Reading groups, going to help the librarian, working on projects she was always by my side. And the magicalness of adolescents turn us two brown haired girls into the best of friends. She made my new life bearable and soon helped me find my groove in a new place.

Lisa and I both made other friends and shared mutual groups of interest, but I can’t even begin to count the numerous adventures, secrets and memories we created. Lisa was enough for me and I was never too much for her. And the funny thing is that I know if Lisa, Julie, Candy and others were to sit down with me at dinner tonight we would pick up right back where we left off. (cue the end of The Way We Were).

I moved back to Templeton my junior year and graduated with many of the faces that I begin my academic journey with 18 years earlier. But Lisa and a handful of other friends never left my thoughts. I use to note that at the time, I down right hated having to move, but looking back I gained so much from being in a new environment. From learning experiences to different styles in clothing (who knew there were jeans outside of Wrangler?) and being exposed to a larger community helped shape my life and inner growth. And if it wasn’t for Mr. Johnson my high school agriculture teacher I wouldn’t know Parli Pro or how to play cribbage.

Discovering the lessons as our life changes and why god has placed us on a path isn’t always easy. It can be downright challenging. Using all the tools in your chest of “self help” can take time to repair the road our journey travels. My fall back in any situation is to use the simplest form and go back to square one. Cleaning a mess of closet, empty it completely and start over. Challenge at work, what is the first step in the right direction? So that is what I have done. And writing this blog is the first step to a new tomorrow. I am not going to promise that this will be the year that I actually write more and more, but who knows maybe the door opening is a sign for that adventure to unfold. My other big news is that I am teaching again. I am officially the instructor of Equine Marketing at the University of Louisville for spring of 2024. It has been great making my mind use channels of thoughts that have sat dormant for a few years.

Here is to 2024. A planner full of notes and lists. A blog review that surpasses any other year. Life is a journey and as history has shown all trips have their ups and downs. Look for the foundation or that one solid variable. Be it a person, place or thing, find your Lisa Gray and the equation will solve itself.

January 18, 2024 1

Could Country Music Define My Truth?

Main Street Templeton Christmas Day 2018

Well in the town where I was raised, the clock ticked and the cattle grazed
Time passed with amazing grace, back where I come from ~ Kenny Chesney

Last week while having a conversation with my father I asked him “Why are you a Dallas Cowboy fan?” My whole life my father has been loyal to “America’s Team”. Even when he wasn’t thrilled with the roster or their record he stayed true. Yet why this franchise and not a brand closer geographically to where he grew up? His response was pretty simple. As a youngster he was a Colts fan and the great Johnny Unitas, until one day little Bob Coon thought to himself, I am a “cowboy” so I will cheer for those like me. He said he turned his Colts sweatshirt inside out, drew a large number 17 on the front and as they say the rest is history.

My dad’s simple story of identity as a young boy got me thinking. I reflected on the many times Nolan (my son) has told me a life event he envisioned for himself or others, very genuine in detail and a matter of his truth. And low and behold it materialized. He stayed true to his course and his beliefs. Could I say the same thing with respect to myself?

Being true to yourself is one thing, but accepting who you are every day is another matter altogether. That belief of knowing who you are or what you will become isn’t necessary a trait we all carry in our DNA. Reflecting on myself and watching my kids grow into the people they are becoming, the age-old debate of nature versus nurture hits home. I believe there are commonalities across genetic pools, but I am certain that growing up in rural town embeds unique characteristics and the one often is overlooked is a sense of truth.

Not truth as in right from wrong, but a deep sense of knowing (whether you want to admit it or not) who you are and the fundamentals of the game of life. It doesn’t change your ability to dream or grow, but a jump start to becoming comfortable in one’s own skin. Live on a farm. There is zero wonder where food comes from, the birds and the bees or even the sting of death. Live in a small town, communication happens across front porches and down main street. Outside of the elementary school while parents wait for the afternoon bell is how parties are planned. Some would think it is too simple or lacks elegance, but I beg to differ. The world is raw and freer of clutter with no stop lights.

I was driving the other day and Kelesa Ballerini’s song Half of My Hometown came on and I began my usual poor rendition of singing along. At the very end when I belted out “I’m half of my hometown” I got a little teary eyed. Being born and raised in a small town, life is pretty basic, in a good way. We are country folk, huge love of agriculture, your neighbor, Friday night lights, church on Sundays and listening to stories of the good ole days. Embracing the part of me that is Templeton, California, the piece responsible in shaping my truths, some would think is a slap in the face to sophistication and intelligence. But instead I like to think it connects me with the little things, basic comforts, love of traditions, and freshly mowed fields.

My writings since the first of the year have focused on hope, contentment, an embrace of inner Jacky. Maybe it is another side effect of this global pandemic, but I truly think the disease is just another excuse for some to leave their best foot behind. Looking for the sweet spot of peace in a world that wants to constantly remind us what is wrong with EVERYTHING. How you think, your beliefs, even to the point of what you eat, every choice we make, word we say is placed under some hypothetical microscope of judgment. I am over life being a competition. Work feeling like some are in and some are out. A sense to defend yourself constantly to strangers as well as loved ones. Why can’t we develop relationships like we did as kids, back in our home town (big or small), and just be free and accepting?

My all time favorite photo of my Dad, the cowboy.

I am no linguist. I don’t always pronounce or even spell every word correctly, but I can relate to the truths from a young Bob Coon and Nolan Hildebrand. Plain and simple, go turn your sweatshirt inside out let the world know who you are, own your brand. You may think I am a simple girl from the sticks, and you may not agree with my thoughts, but they are my truths, I am a believer. Embracing that I am a small town girl that lives for lack of a better definition in the big city, once again I turn to the poetic lines of another country crooner Thomas Rhett “And I wouldn’t trade the things I’ve done or the places that I’ve been, man it feels good to be country again.”

January 24, 2022 1

I Have an Idea…. An Interactive Post

If you have every worked with me you might have heard that phrase more times than you would like to admit. I do have an idea and this blog is about me sharing and hopefully, you my readers giving me some feedback or insight into my concept.

Earlier this year Tod invited me to join him for lunch with one of his former donors from his days at UCLA. Jumping at the chance to spend an afternoon in Santa Monica, he didn’t have to ask me twice and we were off on a much-needed Covid era adventure. Sitting in a little Italian restaurant, one of only two tables of guests, little did I know god was sending me a memory. The guest of honor walked in and the first thing I said to Tod was “you didn’t tell me we were meeting Alan Arkin.” No, it wasn’t the award-winning actor, but an extraordinary presence none the less.

Over the course of lunch, the conversation led me back to my days dining with George and the many tales he would share about his life. There was something about this soon to be 90-year-old man that made the afternoon go from just a meal to a much-needed, standing still of time where we sat memorized by the conversation. From stories of his parent’s immigration to the United States to the many avenues he developed in the textile industry, I just sat there absorbing his words like a sponge. No ego or bragging, although his accomplishments would support such behavior. He had a sense of inner peace, no need for hurry, accomplishment or proving his worth.

As we drove home I started to think “how does one become so comfortable in their own skin?” Continuing to toss this around in my mind it wasn’t until we sat at the race track one day this summer that the conversation stemmed into a discussion about contentment. A light bulb went on in my head, the trait that I used felt from George to our most recent lunch guest, was contentment. But how does one stop the chase in our lives and be settled in their minds. Is it time, life experiences, part of your DNA, learned or something that I haven’t even considered? And that is when I got my idea.

Could I solve this question with some investigation work? Perhaps if I interviewed a variety of people and somehow take this qualitative, case study approach and turn it into a quantitative result with a measured solution? Always struggling with the tug of war in my mind of letting my creative side run free while allowing my logical, analytical self to take the results and sort it nicely in a spreadsheet with the correct answer. But this idea keeps pushing to front of my mind and I think it has some legs.

Feeling the need for validation, I reached out to Beth Wonson, a person who I not only admire for what she has accomplished but because she will listen to you (I mean really listen) and give you honest feedback. Trust me when I approached her with my idea I was beyond clumsy with my words, as my concept is like a giant brainstorming session gone wild with no starting point. Yet in true Beth form she was attentive as I rambled on and on. At the end she said I think you have something and gave me some tools to get the ball rolling. So here it goes.

My concept is to interview a person (preferably all recorded) and have basic questions that would spur organic conversation. Collect the feedback and look for commonalities, then sort the dialogue into like classifications. What am I trying to achieve? First off, I want to see if there are shared traits in content people. Then I want to determine where the origin of these characteristics begin. Basic concept of nature versus nurture with a twist. Finally, this process could be the white whale I have been hunting for years as a great writing project.

What do I need from you my readers? Well for starters do you think this is a crazy idea? What would you look for in a dialog candidate? Currently my criteria to qualify is simple; are you generally a happy person (truthfully) and are you or could you ever be content? Curiosity of how life is shaped by our choices and the perception we hold of ourselves are areas I would like to explore. My methodology is wide open, but some simple questions seems to be the best place to start. How about sharing some probing questions that you think could help in this examination? As I was working on this blog, I pulled a Trust Your Crazy Idea card and the message began “The good news is you don’t know how great you can be!” With your help and feedback, my hope is that is the beginning of a lifelong project that teaches all of us something that bridges that need for accomplishment with a sense of contentment.

(Feel free to message me privately or leave feedback on my blog or social media page. Please share this thought with others that may have valuable insight. I greatly appreciate any and all.)

January 10, 2022 1