“Which is more important,” asked Big Panda, “the journey or the destination?” “The company,” said Tiny Dragon
Being a creature of habit, the ringing in of the New Year emanates thoughts of anew and the overwhelming urge to write in my blog. But something felt different these past few weeks. Like picking up where I left off was no longer an option, it wasn’t just a new year, but a rebirth of a sense of purpose.
Any good annual goal should be measurable. Have I been successful over the past decade with my annual expression to the universe? Curiosity in my corner, the exploration into my past writings was a click away. Believe it or not, A Little Bit About a lot of Things is about to celebrate its 13th birthday. With a total of 73 posts, 17,645 views and over 8,500 visitors, I knew my efforts weren’t chart topping. Just shy of 65,000 written words, which is just 15,000 words short of the average length of most fictional novels. (Wait, stop, are you saying, that I am on the verge of a completing book?) Thoughts of actually jumping off the diving board into that “big” writing project I so secretly dreamed about often, didn’t seem so scary.
Focus became key and my mind had to be glued to completing the task at hand; finding out if I have stayed true to a quest over the past 13 years? I needed more data. Guess what, Tuesdays seem to be my most prolific day to publish. And as expected, from January 2014 to present day, post Christmas to early in the new year, is the sweet spot for success in completing an entry with a grand total of eleven postings. The reasons behind the popularity was simple, the time of year.
They say focusing on the past isn’t healthy, but I learned a few lessons rereading my work. In 2014, I was all about being present, which I can honestly say has been an unplanned premise this past year. I didn’t have a choice but to be present I had nothing but the day ahead. And trust me I’m a person that loves to look forward to something, may I remind you of my love of travel? Having time on my hands and an empty appointment book gave way to taking time to plan adventures. It was a conscious act that I spent hours and endless energy to create destinations. This included spending stints with people that I am truly grateful for in my life, making memories and being in the moment took unexpected forms. From carefully planned trips, like our journey to California in June that I wrote about, to my last minute jaunt on the featured fair tour in Idaho that concluded with a special breakfast with my Grandma Darlene, each destination fueled my fire and boosted my energy.
In 2015, I wrote a prescription as my New Year’s resolution. https://alittlebitaboutalotofthings.com/2015/01/03/begin-again-please-dont-see-just-a-girl-caught-up-in-dreams-and-fantasies/#more-97 One of my “doses” was allow for change. For as long as I can recall I have internally thought if I could just have one or two weeks off to be at home and get my life in order things would be better. You know that underlying feeling of needing rest, checking off that household “to-do” list and just having a little me time. Well, I am living proof it takes way longer than two weeks.
At first, I struggled with the down time. The change was beyond something I felt able to lean into. I was tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Time and patience were the key to healing. Neither one of them are my signature strengths. As the summer months gave way to fall, I began to spring forth with new bud growth from the metamorphosis. Like the caterpillar becoming a lovely butterfly, I grew new wings and shed off a few thousand burden legs. The byproducts of my healing are evident in my everyday life. My cupboards have never been more organized. I made holiday crafts for the first time in decades. And my status is with United is at an all time high. I allowed for change and in return I found missing parts of my old self.
Yet one of my favorite posts was titled “One Decade at a Time” published January 5, 2017. If you know me, you know I love my birthday. I think we all should celebrate from the roof tops on our special day, because without it you wouldn’t be walking upright. Age has never been a big deal to me, except when I can channel it for an excuse for an even grander celebration. Pointing out significant milestones that were made by people at older ages, you get instantly inspired to go out accomplish any goal, maybe even write a novel? Reading it reminded me that turning 58 really isn’t that big a deal. Not that I really thought it was, like I said, to me age is just a number. It also prompted me to start planning something epic for the big 60. Maybe a trip to Italy?
As for 2025, I have spent some time truly thinking about my annual manifesto. Don’t get me wrong I still believe and embrace all my past idealism and plans, but this year I am only assigning myself one task. To be grateful. Grateful for all the little things in my life but most importantly for the people in my world. Why be present, if not to enjoy time with someone special? And change is prompted many times by the entrance or the exit of individuals in our world. In a world filled with texts, emails, videos, and countless non present forms of communication, I embrace the importance of having actual humans in one’s days. People are as essential to our life as air and water.
One simple word, gratitude will be all that I strive for in 2025. Yes,the journey can be fun and the destination may turn out better than expected, but none of it truly matters without the company.
2025 I am grateful for my family, especially my parents and my fabulous children, Nolan, Kayla and Lilly. I am grateful that each of them has found someone who thinks they are just as amazing as I do. I am grateful my friends, the ones I talk to often and the ones who are there even in the silence space. And I am grateful for Tod and Louie, the little nuclear family that greets me every morning with hope of a joyful day.
“Which road I travel is still a mystery to me.” – Kenny Chesney
In my early days as a bright-eyed, eager fair employee, one of my duties was making sure the queen and her court accomplished their daily check list of appearances. Wrangling three bubbling, enthusiastic, crown baring young ladies had its challenges. Lets just say that not all their actions screamed sugar and spice and everything nice. But thanks to one of the most inappropriate requests, I had my first encounter with Kenny Chesney.
A budding country star that opened the show for Alabama in July of 1996, Kenny was straight off his album cover complete with felt hat and blue jeans. As he exited the stage one of princesses boldly ask if he would sign her chest (well more like the skin right above her chest bone.) He bashfully, yet eagerly accepted the request with black sharpie in hand, made a few pleasantries with the girls and continued his journey to the backstage compound. Little did any of us realize that this 27 year old crooner would become a country mega star crossing genres and taking generations to the sand and sea, if only in their mind’s escape.
Fast forward a few more years and Kenny hits had multiplied and landed him a gig on the Headliner Stage. If you have ever watched his video Just Don’t Happen Twice much of the footage is straight from the Biggest Little Fair Anywhere, complete with bungee thrill ride outtake. I am not sure if it is my early memories, his love of island life or the way his songs seem too resonant in a way that always makes you stop and think or touch a moment in time and evoke a feeling that these lyrics were written just for you, my appreciation for his talents has stood the test of time. To say I am fan would be an understatement. But, I am not a big concert goer, the idea of hanging out with a population of people that could fill a small town doesn’t ring “good time” to me. Yet, I have had a bee in bonnet to see Kenny for quite some time. Taking to my box of fair memorabilia, I discovered that the last time I heard these tunes live was in 2003. As a matter of fact that was the time, I was offered a margarita backstage by his tour manager who had set up an island, tropical bar in one of the semi-trailers, oh the good ole days. No Shoes Nation was calling my name and an adventure awaited right around the corner.
Living in Kentucky one of the true advantages is location, location, location. Checking his concert schedule there were multiple locations within a two hour drive to spend some time with the boy from Tennessee. A week out from the show in Cincinnati, I pushed the purchase button for a night we won’t soon forget.
The venue was perfect, I happen to purchase Club Level seats which not only offered us restroom and bar access, but a terrace of patio furniture that ended up being our seats for the night. So much of the evening flooded my mind with memories of the years in the business and how every night is a new adventure, challenge to tackle and tunes to sing along. Case in point we had a small weather delay, as I witness the staff ushering the concert goers off the floor for a brief stay under cover, I thought this place has great customer service. Opening additional concession stands, offering seating in a “dead” space behind the stage, and giving frequent updates, you could easily tell this wasn’t their first rodeo. As a crew member climbed to the top the stage roof to “sweep” off the accumulation of water, I was mesmerized of his lack of fear and the show must go on attitude. Our resident usher Roger had worked the area for many years and told us to stay in our lounge chairs as our location was perfect. Finally, Megan Moroney came out as cute as a button, blonde hair blowing, and smile as bright as the peach dress she was wearing. She made it through one song when she announced that her white cowboy boots weren’t cutting in on the wet stage floor and decided to go barefoot for the remainder of her set. The No Shoes Nation attitude was alive and well to kick off the evening.
White Boot Nation
And speaking of white cowboy boots, when did they start being the number one accessory for concert going young ladies? As I watched the line of them standing briefly in front of me, I couldn’t help but think of a Miller family tale. And as Kennys’ songs tend to tell stories of the past, there is a very entertaining episode involving my Uncle Merle, Aunt Diana, Uncle Rod and my mom that could start out, “A fashionable, young lady awaited her date to pick her up for a western themed Cal Poly dance wearing white majorette boots. And end with Merle watched his siblings wrestling over brown shoe polish and his sisters cowboy boots, completely awe stuck.” But that is a yarn for another time.
As the sun that briefly came back to set in the west, Kenny magically appeared and turned the crowd into an echo machine singing every word along with him for the next few hours. The evening was the perfect recipe of fun, faith, and leaving your worries behind. As I danced around displaying my wonderful vocal ability (not), I realized how many songs this man has actually released. Furthermore, how many of these melodies have a message that we could all use now and then, regardless if we are on an island or sitting in the middle of downtown Cincinnati. Music for me has always been the soundtrack of your life with different volumes to represent your very own eras. Developing a life lesson playlist exclusive to Kenny Chesney’s library of songs seems like a good keepsake of the evening. I am sure you have your favorites, but here is a few to get your collection of hits started.
First off if you are looking for that kick back, vacation, toes in the sand tune, Kenny has these for hours of listening. He also has many great lyrics that celebrate where you are from, your childhood and lifelong friends. But with the goal to get your thinking and feeling inspired in a positive way, I am going to start off with a couple that won’t fail your listening ears.
1 – Get Along – #Micdrop right here. Whether it is turning on the evening news or cruising your go-to social media platform, the amount of distress and upheaval across this planet is epic. The chorus points out no one is perfect, love triumphs all, action helps the mind, friendship is important and in the end “Can’t we all get along?”
Lilly, me, Nolan and Kayla
2 – Here and Now – When this song began mid-set, I sent myself a text saying, “What Kayla and I are planning, Here and Now.” My daughter Kayla and I did what some would think crazy or silly, we went halfway across the nation for 48 hours so that we could spend the 4th of July with her brother and sister. For Kayla and I there was nowhere else in this world, there was no better place or better time. How often do we dwell on an event from the past or worry about the future, listen to Kenny’s words instead. “Everybody’s waiting, but they’re waiting on what? Better get to living ‘cause all we’ve got is here and now.” Why wait for tomorrow, for what we can enjoy today?
Me, Lorie, Shawna and Tisha
3 – I Go Back – Don’t be accusing me of contradicting my second choice. Maybe it was the era I grew up, maybe it was that I come from a small town, or it just could be that I am a big ole dreamer, but this song makes me relive so many fabulous memories. Actually, for me, this song is one of the reasons I wanted to go home for the 4th of July. I got to hang with my best friend since first grade Shawna, my mom tried to recreate the meal my grandma would prepare complete with homemade potato salad and fresh strawberries and homemade whip cream, and wondering the streets of Templeton with my kids and landing on Fourth Street with the Tucker/ Hammers crew was the quint essential firework to my celebration. “We all have a song that somehow stamped our lives, Takes us to another place and time”, I dare you to listen to this song and not have flashbacks of happiness.
4 – Never Wanted Nothing More – “Well I’m what I am and I’m what I’m not, I’m sure happy with what I’ve got, I live to love and laugh a lot, And thats all I need” How many of us can truly say we live this mantra everyday? How many of us know we should? Being true to yourself might be the toughest task for anyone to actual accomplish. And each generation tackles more and more hurdles to get the finish line of self love. Think about it, today’s young minds have influencers who are an overstated example of what we think is neat and nifty. Reducing the clutter from our feeds, life, minds and world may help us all get that big hug from inside. I mean, seriously, being truly happy with who you are and what you got, one would never want nothing more.
5 – American Kids – A little messed up, but we’re all alright. Please raise your hand if this applies to you? All of you with your hands in your pockets, I call BS. The grass isn’t greener, no one has a perfect life, everyone has their demons and guess what according to Kenny we’re all alright. This is also one of those catchy group of lyrics that you can’t help but sing outloud while your feet can’t stop moving.
6 – I’m Alive – “Today’s the first day of the rest of your life and I am alive and well.” Think about the first eight words, no truer lyric has ever been sung. Sometimes we need to stop and remember we are alive, and the future is all that really matters. Even if you have had the worst day or roughest go of it, breaking it down to the simplest form and realizing that every day you are alive is something to be grateful. I am a big birthday person. I don’t get why people belly ache about getting older or making a big deal about “your day.” The way I look at it is, your birthday is the most important day of your life. Without it, you wouldn’t be alive and well!
7 – Save it for a Rainy Day – This tune reminds me of a song by Lit called Zip Lock. The main theme was to put a second chance in a zip lock bag and keep it in your pocket. Great concept. Kenny reminds us that even if we are bummed out about life, that we can take that downer and store it away for a rainy day. Sun’s too bright and sky’s too blue, go out and live your life with hope that tomorrow is yet another glowing day that won’t allow those rainy day blues to enter your world.
Best Seats in the House
8 – Don’t Blink – Every morning I have adopted my own zen/ gratitude/ happy thoughts routine. Maybe someday I will blog about my system, but in the meantime, let me share one component. I read a chapter from of 1000 + Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently. The other day it stated, “Do you remember that time five years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?” As I read, a grin appeared on my face. Was this my own words being stated back at me? I would say to my college students, “The five year, if it doesn’t matter in five years does it matter now?” Don’t blink takes the five year rule and puts it in reverse. If it is going to matter in five years we better take time in the present to enjoy, celebrate and embrace those moments. Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think, so don’t blink.
9 – Everything’s Gonna Be Alright – “Tell me something good that I don’t know,’cause this world’s been kicking my behind.” We all have days that we would rather climb back in bed and start it over again tomorrow. One of my all time favorite people Mrs. Treva Roth taught me many moons ago a phrase, “This too shall pass.” And no truer statement has ever been shared. When life keeps throwing you lemons, take a pause because there ain’t no doubt it’s gonna work out. Just ask Kenny, I am sure he would agree, everything’s gonna be alright.
10 – Live A Little – “Been going like nothing can wait, I gotta get my priorities straight.” These words are the perfect closing song that encompasses the entire list into one thought, live a little, love a lot. Take time for yourself, make sure to schedule some fun and find love. What more do we need prescribed for healthier lifestyle?
As he closed the show with two of my all time favorites from his hit list, Anything But Mine and Just Don’t Happen Twice, I was beyond happy that we decided to go on this quest to the Blue Chip City. My energy level on a joyful high, we made our way back to our hotel. Walking the streets in the dark, quiet forest of skyscrapers, my mind was swirling with the buzz of my inner thoughts and the play back from tonight’s show. We can all take a few lessons from the words that Kenny shares with his fans through his melodies and more. What is so wrong with going barefoot, anyway? At the very least we can put our toes in the sand, leave our worries behind and let the warm air melt our blues away.
“Going home is a joy you cannot grasp unless you left home” – unknown
Our days in Kentucky have open our eyes to many things, but the biggest surprise is the number of people we encounter that have never visited California. The miss conceptions of what the Golden State truly has to offer is beyond mind boggling. To sum up the comments could easily be compared to the number of square acres of our home state of 163,695 if not even greater. Variety is copious but consists of the likes of the entire state is like San Diego (which all by itself is multiple mini cultures rolled up into a pretty little package), there isn’t a cloud in the sky and it is a pleasant temperature, let’s say 78 and sunny ALWAYS. The reality can’t be further from the truth. Granted that there are days just like the mind imagines, but it isn’t a two or even three-dimensional state, the complexities, change in terrain, climate and the significant industry base extends way beyond the world of all things tech. As much as I would love to sing the praises of the agricultural endeavors (basically it feeds the world in multiple commodities) I thought maybe documenting my trip back home would shed a little light on the realities. My only disclaimer, we visited some pretty cool locations and not all of the sunny state reflects these stops. If you don’t believe me travel up Highway 5 from southern California north and let me know how fabulous that feels, looks and even smells.
Saturday, June 1, 2024 – Day 1
Location
Louisville to San Diego County
Weather
Overcast 65 degrees, Sun made brief Appearance
Activity
Travel, Birthday Party, & Cocktails at Monarch Ocean Pub
Steps
11,880 Steps
Special People
Dente Family, Lena & Jen
Daily Recap
We began our journey in the historic, picturesque town of Del Mar. Originally designed to be an area for housing of teachers in the area, the community is sprinkled with longtime residents and remodeled million-dollar plush beach houses. Our home for the next three nights was east of Highway 5 in the Del Mar Heights area. We arrived at the Dente home just in time to celebrate their granddaughter Lucy’s third birthday. It had everything you need cupcakes, princess tattoos and a big loving family. We skipped out for a brief visit to one of our favorite views from the deck of Monarch Ocean Pub, were we got to have a quick toast with Jen and Lena. After a full day of travel we welcomed our nights rest and fell asleep dreaming of all the items on my check list of “things” I wanted to do over the next 8 days.
PSA for day one. I packed foot detox pads that I had purchased off of Amazon. Sleeping with these little gems not only aided in a great sleep, but did wonders for our circulation and worn out feet.
Sunday, June 2, 2024 – Day 2
Location
Del Mar
Weather
Overcast 65 degrees, Sun made brief Appearance
Activity
Walk in Cardiff by the Sea, Sbicca, Church, & Brigantine
Steps
13,885 Steps
Special People
Dente Family, Dr. Frank Sinatra
Daily Recap
Today began with checking-off an item on my list, ocean visit, and relive my days living in Cardiff by the Sea. One of my favorite past times was walking the neighborhood, then down toward Encinitas and if the tide was cooperating a stroll back on the beach. Big thanks to Kathleen for being game for this very long journey with me that cloudy morning. The sound of the sea and the smell of the air still evoke some mystic healing property to my soul. Needless to say, it was an A+ morning.
Tod and I took some time in the afternoon to have a snack and cocktail at Sbicca (the establishment were we actually met) and then went to the 5pm church service at St. James in Solana Beach. The evening ended having dinner with one of my favorite horse players (and his name just makes me smile) Dr. Frank Sinatra. Might I add during the first two days I ate as much fish as the menu would offer. My dinner of ahi tuna served on wonton chips was amazing combined with fabulous California wine was the icing on the cake.
Monday, June 3, 2024 – Day 3
Location
Del Mar & Lunch in La Jolla
Weather
Overcast 65 degrees
Activity
Coffee at Philz, Shore Rider, and Relaxing Evening
Steps
10,254 Steps
Special People
Dente Family, Richard from UCSD, & my cousin Jeremy
Daily Recap
Monday was a pretty mellow day. I did check off the list my desire for fish and chips and a Philz Coffee. Super last minute itinerary audible was lunch with my cousin Jeremy in La Jolla. Fun addition the drive home we cruised by UCSD and Torrey Pines. That golf course never disappoints of its simplistic beauty. Even if you aren’t an avid golfer, I highly suggest a visit to the lodge and sample the public course that has hosts multiple major golf tournaments.
Known on this trip as the “Best Tuesday Ever” (a phrase said to us by a gentleman checking into this luxurious oasis) this was the one day that wasn’t jammed packed with visits and activities. Using a Hilton Rewards certificate, we spent one magical night at a truly relaxing location for free. Which made the experience even more delightful.
The pros and cons of the day. Santa Monica isn’t what is use to be from a shopping perspective. Walking down the 4th street promenade was eye opening. What was once a vibrant, colorful world of mixing people, shopping and food was replaced with boarded up storefront, homeless residents and the occasional store still open for business. We made it a few blocks and decided it was too sad to continue and headed back to the Ocean Ave. The afternoon was spent reading poolside and enjoying a lovely glass of champagne. With the final treat dinner at our favorite oyster bar and dessert on the terrace of our hotel with an espresso martini in hand.
PSA for travel. When I started this blog years ago Tisha wanted me to write about using “points”. I am very loyal to Hilton and enjoy the perks with staying true to this course. Thus this night would have cost $900 with rack rate. Did I mention we traveled first class thanks to United miles? Loyalty has it perks, stay true to the brand and the magic will happen.
Wednesday, June 5, 2024 – Day 5
Location
Santa Monica to Templeton
Weather
Overcast until we reached the top of San Marcos Pass Paso Robles was 106
Activity
Travel, Wine Tasting at Daou & Eberle Winery, Mcphees Grill
Steps
7,108 Steps
Special People
Foti, Tina, Stacy, Kayla, Papa Cummings & Mom
Daily Recap
We embarked on the journey north with a chill in the air and the sun nowhere in sight. Taking over the driving duties in Santa Barbara I elected to venture over the pass into the Santa Ynez valley. It was on this stretch of road that the sun finally became part of our daily ritual. Stopping at the San Luis Obispo airport to drop off the rental car, Foti was kind enough to pick us up and later deposit us at our final resting place with my mom. But before that we became real Paso Robles wine country tourist with a few stops to experience what all the fuss is about in these vineyards.
First stop was Daou Vineyards. Located in what I would call the Adelaide area of Paso Robles. This recently new winery has really made it’s mark in the world of vintages. Once I stepped out of the car and felt the heat and smell of deer weed, my thoughts went straight to my days with my grandma at her lake cabin. Just a few miles as the crow flies from where we parked was a huge part of my childhood, Nacimiento Lake. The 100 plus degrees outside seemed to linger in the back of your mind as you sat under shade drinking in the views and tasting the wine. Known for their reds (and they were delicious and my non expert notes would say extremely balanced) I leaned into the Rose and Sauvignon Blanc as my favorites. So much so that I purchased a bottle of each to bring back to the Blue Grass state.
Next up was a visit to one of the matriarchs of Paso Robles wine industry Gary Eberle’s humble estate of Eberle Winery. One of the last free tasting rooms in the region, we had some inside love as my cousin Stacy is the National Sales Manager. She arranged a special tasting (including snacks and a brief cave tour). Not only did we enjoy the special guests of the two resident poodles, but Kayla joined us for the unique tasting experience. We finished the day with dinner at McPhees Grill in downtown Templeton.
PSA for wine travel or any travel. I always have a wine skin that stays in my suitcase as you never know where your travels might take you and a special bottle that might need to accompany you home. From olive oil to spirits, these little protectors are a wonder. Realizing we had an extra bag that we could check on the return home, I may or may not have brought home a whole case of Paso Robles wine?
PSA for packing. I invested in packing blocks for each of us for this adventure. With so many climates and activities, I knew we needed a variety of options. These little organizers are a packing gem. Everything stayed in its place and items were easily located. Throwing in a bag for dirty clothes helped in the organization game and made it easy to do a few loads of laundry at moms. I loved them so much, I jumped on Amazon and ordered both my mom and Trish a set. Game changer!
Thursday, June 6, 2024 – Day 6
Location
Templeton
Weather
Sunny and triple digits
Activity
Lunch with Dad, Wine Tasting Austin Hope, 80th Birthday for Papa Cummings
Steps
6,627 Steps (it was too damn hot)
Special People
Dad, Lilly, Kayla, Mom, Bob, Jody, Julia, Teresa, Kathy, Barbie, Vivian, Shawna, Lily, Tony, Kaci, Kim & Chris
Daily Recap
Waking up where I have spent most of my life (literally I have lived within a mile of this location over half my life) the smell of the dry summer heat, sound of the sheep, and even the sound of my mother yelling at the dogs just added a level of comfort that only a true home can offer. Today we did three main activities but man it covered some time, filled our bellies and was a revolving door of family and friends.
First off Lilly arrived and took us to meet my dad for lunch. Not the most social person on a day in day out plan, he was the number one thing on my list to spend some time with and get him busy. Fun fact, when I text him and my step mother of his plans the week we were going to be in town (he only reads texts doesn’t respond.. lets say we are lucky he still doesn’t have a flip phone) my step mother’s responded to say he takes the garbage to the road on Mondays. So that was my que that his calendar was wide open. My plan was lunch and wine tasting.
Dad did enjoy his day more than his face says!
Our lunch plans shifted as the place I wanted to visit wasn’t serving for another 30 minutes. I did manage to get my wedding gift purchased and we ventured to the Paso Robles Golf Club for our meal. For me that was like stepping into a time machine and encountering pieces of your past. After lunch we went to Austin Hope’s main tasting room for an afternoon experience. Disclaimer, I seldom visit wineries when I venture home, but each of these had a special reason behind the journey. My step sister Jody just started working for Austin in his new downtown Paso Robles location and my thought was to visit her during one of her shifts. But she wasn’t scheduled that day, so instead she made us a reservation at the winery and joined the party. It was another high heat experience, that we half way through the tasting shifted to a bottle of bubbles and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon for Dad.
The evening was all about celebrating Papa Bob Cumming’s 80th birthday. A typical Grandma Jo meal, she worried that we would run out of food, and of course we did not. Surrounded by family and friends the bubbles flowed right along with the stories shared. We got to finally meet Lily Hollstien’s fiancé Tony and catch our first glance of the bride to be Kaci as she came by for a famous Moon Beams spray tan.
Plans were made for morning walks, pancakes on Saturday morning, and yet another wine tasting for Friday. Papa felt the love, having a handful of his grand daughters singing birthday songs and some incredible tasty sweet treats for dessert. The lack of not one photo from the evening is a true reflection of how present and genuine we lived in the moment.
Friday, June 7, 2024 – Day 7
Location
Templeton
Weather
Sunny cooling off into the 90s
Activity
Morning walk, Breakfast with Tisha, Booker, Unexpected French tasting and Dinner at Loading Chute
Steps
15,604 Steps
Special People
Tisha & Grandma Trish (and the all the previous mentioned)
Daily Recap
Friday morning started off with a bang, or should I say a house full of family. As they all began to disperse to their chosen form of exercise, I quickly discovered my plan of going for a walk with Lilly and Julia was not theirs as they drove out of the drive way. Eager to get some steps on my fit bit while the morning air was still crisp, I went out on one of my favorite strolls down Jack Creek Road. Passing only one vehicle, the quiet country road brought back memories that only a still sense of the past reflecting little change in the present can offer. I even came across a patch of sweat peas that made me give a quick nod to my grandmother. She would share with us kids stories of how her neighbor Miles would drive from his place (on the road I was walking) to the coast and throw sweat pea seeds out the truck window. I can’t recall a time I have not been on the look out for these magical flowers that have survived decades to continue to bloom each year. On my way back Tisha called and suggested her and I steal away for a breakfast for two. A mimosa and a few shared snacks was just what the doctor ordered to kick off the day.
But the magic of the day was just beginning to bloom. Kayla had requested that we visit Booker Vineyards. Thanks to Teresa she arranged for us to have a tasting at this very trendy location. Which for me is such a twist of fate. You see Booker is named after the original land owners, Claude and Dick Booker. Two bachelor brothers that were the true definition of turn of the century grain farmers. Ironically their land has become some of the most prized vineyards in the area. My brother Johnny and I were lucky enough to actually know these fine men and my brother even has one of their tractors. They represent just another classic Templeton history story that now finds itself as the opening lines to a prestigious establishment. https://www.bookerwines.com/About If you go to this link you can read and see their original farm house. Let me tell you it was anything but glamorous and not a place any well respected influencer would visit today. And similar to our earlier visits we opted half way through the reds for a glass of the Rose. And a bottle may or may not be nestled in my wine frig in Kentucky.
On our way back to home base, Teresa surprised us with a quick visit to Villa Creek Winery, where we were introduced to the most gracious human, Anne Charlotte Melia-Bachas from the Chateauneuf-Du-Pape region of France. Unfortunately we only had a quick minute to try this vintage. A wonderful detour that I so wished we had the time to make into a destination. But more fun awaited us on the other side of town.
Our dinner plans began at the Coon Estate complete with cocktail hour hosted by Bob Coon himself mixing up his favorite margarita. This was Tod’s first visit to the east side of town and we thought it would be grand to keep the local flavor alive. Dinner was at the Loading Chute in Creston, California. Wonderful food, great steaks and a bounty of local wines, this establishment is off the beaten path but well worth the drive. Bellies full and a big day ahead of us on Saturday, Kayla, Tod and I made our way back to Vineyard Drive for another good nights rest.
Saturday, June 8, 2024 – Kaci & Michael ‘s Wedding Day
Location
Templeton & San Miguel
Weather
The Fog Lifted to Lovely June Day
Activity
Gma Jo Pancakes (if you know you know), San Miguel Mission, Elkhorn Bar, & The Big Wedding
Steps
11,360 Steps
Special People
All of the Above plus Payton, Colby, Trevor, Peggy & the Mott/ Fletcher Clan
Daily Recap
This might just be titled the “Best Morning Ever” as we got have Grandma Jo pancakes. You might ask, what is all the fuss about? Well when my mother agrees to mix up her magic batter it is a breakfast you just don’t want to miss. Her secret ingredient (no its not mother’s love) she beats the egg whites until they look fit for a prize winning angel food cake and uses buttermilk. So good and when the town crier (me) announces that the griddle is hot, well they come running from miles around.
Bob’s Beautiful Barn – 2024
But today didn’t give us much time to sit around drinking mimosas and enjoying delicate fluffy pancakes we had a wedding to attend. Kaci Mott (soon to be Kaci Marcotte) came into our world as an eager sheep showing, 4-Her and joined what is now known as Bob’s Beautiful Barn, completing the four of a kind to Papa Cummings three grand daughters, Kayla, Lilly and Julia. For me Kaci has been Lilly’s sidekick, Tisha and my fair employee and student at Cal Poly. Her husband to be, Michael was also a former student and shared with me the night of the reception that is was my AGB 406 class when he got to work with Vicki Carroll and Hospice du Rhone, that he made the commitment to have a career in the Central Coast Wine Industry. Our family and Kaci’s have many interwoven connections and it was no surprise to all when Lilly was asked to serve in the special role of Maid of Honor. Needless to say this wedding was part of our family and an event that we just couldn’t miss.
The nuptials were held at the historic San Miguel Mission. Founded in 1797, the historic landmark still holds weekly masses and reflects all the unique, nostalgic heritage one would expect. The ceremony had an air of magic watching the new, shiny wedding ways laid over the canvas of a 200 year old venue.
After the ceremony we had some time to make our way to the winery venue reception. Being the veteran event people, mom ordered up some turkey sandwiches to take into the Elk Horn for what we referred to as wedding intermission. An act that I could easily make into a PSA, having that light snack and a cool drink on a hot June Day was the perfect way to kill some time before the reception began.
The reception was everything one would expect, straight out of a Hallmark Romance, vineyard setting. Flowers perfect, specialty cocktails of course, the perfect wines from both the bride and grooms careers, and a casual yet elegant atmosphere surrounded by all that love and celebration their people could express. There were many special moments, but maybe this is a mom talking, but I thought Lilly’s Maid of Honor toast was the perfect sprinkle of fun, laughter, love and happily ever after. Knowing Kaci’s family I have all the faith in the world in these two newlyweds and the future they will build together. Needless to say it was the signature activity to end our California adventure.
Sunday, June 9, 2024 – Day 9
Location
Templeton – Louisville
Weather
Sunny 90
Activity
Traveling Home
Steps
7,347 Steps
Special People
All of the Above + Payton, Colby, Trevor, Peggy and the Mott/ Fletcher Clan
Daily Recap
Today we journeyed our way back to eastern standard time. My take aways from the past eight days are filled with blurry moments, untaken photos, and short reel of my past 56 years of life. Spending so much time looking out at vineyards, it gave my mind’s eye a pause to reflect back to when these fields were full of dry land grain farming and cattle. Even further back to when almonds and walnuts were the tapestry of the area. At the end of the day, it is still all agriculture driven and that settles well in my heart. I recently read a quote that said, “Home isn’t a place it is a feeling”. I couldn’t agree more. Recapping our adventure I am glad I took the time to note each day. As I wrote in the last blog, my art needs to be for me first and isn’t that what being home is all about?
Final Overview –
The delicate fluffy pancake secret step!
One Wedding
Two Birthday Parties
Three Resting Locations
Four Parents Hugged
Five Winery Visits (or one might say Four and half)
Twelve Bottles of Wine
Hundreds of Miles Traveled
Countless Family and Friends
And just like Master Card….Memories Made….. Priceless
“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” – Maya Angelou
Recently I began reading Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert the author of Eat, Pray, Love. Whole heartedly admitting that this book first caught my eye because I did enjoy her earlier best seller both in print and on the big screen, but the title tugged at something deeper in my soul. As I am making my way through the pages the first take away is to enjoy your creativity. Create for you and you alone.
A roadblock that I have faced with writing and this blog is the need for others to react. But I am now realizing that this blog and my writing shouldn’t be about fulfilling other’s needs, it should be about me enjoying my creative process. With this in mind I pondered on a subject to put pen to paper (so to speak) that would be a tribute to my creativity and finding joy.
Most of you know that I have showcased my creative thoughts, talents, and passion through the world of Agriculture Fairs. This love affair started at a very young age ( https://alittlebitaboutalotofthings.com/2019/08/18/career-paths-101/ ) and catapulted me into a career journey for the past thirty plus years. From enjoying as a visitor to creating the guest’s journey, there isn’t an aspect of the annual event that I have not experienced. May is California Fair appreciation month So here is my tribute to an industry that has fostered my creative mind for years.
What better way to kick off your family’s summer than creating memories in your own backyard. By far the greatest way to immerse yourself into the creative process is by being part of the show. You may wonder how in the world do I achieve this; easy enter in the Exhibits Department. A great man and former Fair leader, Stephen Chambers use to come and share his wisdom with my Introduction the Fair Management class each spring. By far my favorite take away was when he would ask the students what is the difference between fairs and festivals? “Fair’s celebrate the success of ordinary citizens”, would be his answer. What he meant is that anybody can enter their “creativity” at the Fair, be it baking, sewing, photography, gardening, etc and so on. The Competitive Exhibit Department is the heart of a Fair, no ifs, ands, or buts.
How do you become part of the competition, well that is very easy. All you need to do is go online and find the website of your local, county or state fair and look under Competitive Exhibits. There will be a guide to explain in detail the “world of all things” you can enter. Check it out, it’s will truly spark your creative juices. There is no bigger sense of pride than walking through a display and see your prize winning strawberry jam with a big blue ribbon. https://alittlebitaboutalotofthings.com/2013/08/22/the-art-of-competition/
This website will also be a huge resource to plan your day at the Fair. Everything from admission information to entertainment will be at your fingertips. Let me let you in on the world’s biggest kept secret, people (full time, part time, volunteers, boards) spend easily a year to eighteen months creating these magical days at the Fair. If I had a dollar for every time I was asked what I did the rest of the year when the front gates weren’t open, well I would own a condo on a beach in Maui. The planning, the budgets, the contracts, the outside vendors, the list goes on and on. The amount of time and resources that have went into even the smallest county Fair would boggle your mind. It is an art piece that consumes your mind 24 hours a day and it never seems complete. Go and enjoy their labor of love, they have earned it.
My journey includes working at some of the best Fairs in the nation, but teaching Fair Management allowed me to embark in the celebration of Agriculture Fairs globally. If you still don’t know where to start your Fair tour, here are some of my favorites.
Let’s start by dreaming big or some might even say create a “bucket list.”
1 – The Calgary Stampede in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Known as the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth, is a must see for any true fan of all things Fairs. My first visit was in 2003 and I have been fortunate enough to visit two more times since, even taking a group of students. Why I marvel at this event, there are too many reasons to list. But let’s sum it up with a single word, community. I have yet to experience an event that the moment you walk off the airplane you feel the energy. The city of Calgary embraces the 10 day Fair as a though it is a national holiday. One will be part of the show before they even stroll through the gates. And once you do well game on. From the Chuck Wagon Races to the daily rodeo (did I mention the have their own rodeo stock company) from the agricultural exhibits to the food and Canadian flavor, it is a trip you will never forget. Trust me it is an E ticket ride worth riding over and over and over again.
2 – Salon de l’Agriculture in Paris, France. This annual event happens in late February or early March and is nothing like it’s state side cousins. My visit occurred the day after arriving on my first oversee voyage and I wasn’t expecting to encounter what awaited past the gates. This may be the most agricultural based Fair I have ever witnessed. The Livestock Area wasn’t huge but the entries were impressive. Yet, that wasn’t even the crowning moment for me. There is a full carcass exhibit with live chef demonstrations. Commercial exhibits are actual booths from French regions showcasing their products. Can you say cheese, wine, chocolate, are the visions of sugar plums dancing in your head? But wait there is more, food concessions are actual restaurants that come and serve their menu. And lastly, they had a huge cat show. I dare you to find anything in comparison in your own backyard. Did I mention that the winning cattle had actual medals around their necks?
3 – The Royal Adelaide Show in Adelaide, Australia. This one is on my bucket list as I have only visited the grounds in the interim season. Seeing photos of the Wine Show and the Merino sheep show have me dreaming of the day that I can enjoy all the feels in person. Couple of cool take away from my non-fair time visit, one they have public transportation drops on either end of the grounds. The train has a stop, as well as the tram system. Talk about no parking hassle. Two, on January 26 of each year when they swear in the new Australia citizens on Australia Day, the Royal Adelaide Show gives each new “Australian” a season pass to the early fall event. How cool is that? Australia filled me with creative Fair thoughts that I will cherish forever. https://alittlebitaboutalotofthings.com/2015/03/25/our-state-fair-is-a-great-state-fair-dont-miss-dont-even-be-late
Right about now I bet you are saying to yourself, “Jacky how about something in my own backyard?” Before I share a few places that captured my heart, I would like to place this disclaimer that I have never met a Fair I didn’t like. And because my blog posts need to try and stay in a readable length, if I left off your favorite, please share in the comments for all to enjoy.
1 – The California Mid-State Fair in Paso Robles, California. I have to start off with where my love affair began. This is my hometown Fair where I won my first blue ribbon, showed my first grand champion lamb and if the truth be told was actually the Fair queen in 1986. And thanks to Vivian Robertson, this is my first job in this incredible industry. Why go visit, well the obvious is the decades long tradition of big name entertainment. Fairgoers travel hours to see their favorite musical artist every July. But me my favorite part holds a special spot in my heart for many reasons. There is a little area nestled between two commercial buildings called Mission Square. Yes, it is a creative endeavor of yours truly, but it is so much more. It celebrates the amazing Central Coast wine industry. Features local products, chef demonstrations, an artisan craft cocktail competition and the sampling of olive oil. There is music, shade and a feeling that you are no longer on a fairgrounds. Who needs to go local wine tasting, it’s all there waiting for you in one place.
2- The San Diego County Fair in Del Mar, California. How many times have you road a Ferris Wheel and looked out into the Pacific Ocean? But the uniqueness of this month long event doesn’t stop or even start in the Fun Zone. Known for its amazing celebration of the Fair theme, there is an entire building celebrating the annual hook. From the amazing Mad About the Fair (a nod to Alice in Wonderland) to this year’s Let’s Go Retro celebration, they dig their heels into creating a new gig annually. But Jacky what’s the hidden gem? Let me assure you, there are quite a few. The Design in Wood exhibit is like nothing I have ever encountered in all my Fair gypsies days. Imagine the finest wood craft entries immersed in an actual wood shop. It is a very special place that the love of the art hits you the moment you walk in the door. Other creative highlights not to miss is the Gems and Minerals Show, Flower Show, Photography and Garden Show. And if you are into art, the pop up art gallery built in the middle of the pari-mutuel stalls of the first floor of the grandstand is a destination all by itself.
3 – Monterey County Fair in Monterey, California. This quintessential small Fair hosts two exhibits that one just doesn’t discover every day. Remember how I began this blog by encouraging one to participate? Well Monterey sits in the heart of the Salinas Valley and the commercial produce growers all compete in the Agriculture Horticulture Department. Walking into this building ones’ senses are stimulated with the freshest greens money can buy. Farm to Table is displayed with the bounty of blue and purple ribbons galore. Further down the grounds, tucked away in a small building is the wool show. A room full of prizes winning fleeces where the floor is lined with spinners creating magic from the raw product. And if you are in need of a new fleece for your next knitting project, stop by on the final morning and be the winning bidder on the pelt of your choice.
4- The Lodi Grape Festival in Lodi California. This may be the smallest event on my list. If you are looking for a junior livestock show you will not find one on this campus. But what you will find is the most creative competition. Entrants create 8 x 12 foot grape murals. Wait … what are you talking about Jacky? This is a creative competition that has a huge dose of patience. Competitions are given the Fair theme and then spend months designing the concept and layout. The week leading up to the Fair, they begin placing grapes one by one to create this ultimate work of art. Go, see, it is unreal and while you are there be sure to partake in a lovely glass of Lodi wine.
5 – The Indiana State Fair in Indianapolis, Indiana. Have you ever seen the 1945 classic State Fair? Well although that story shares the journey of a family at the Iowa State Fair, the grand feeling it beholds can easily be encountered with a day at the Indiana State Fair. Honestly it may take more than one day to truly embrace all the event has to offer. My treat is for anyone that has ever exhibited livestock. A must see if the new state of the art Hog Show Barn. Every last detail has been thought about with both the exhibitor and fairgoer in mind. Stunning, marvelous, mindful, are just a few words that still do not do it justice. If you are a livestock show junkie, seeing is believing.
6 – The Kentucky State Fair in Louisville, Kentucky. This multi day event checks every box in a day at the Fair experience. Here I had my first encounter with Tobacco judging and a variety of Ham competitions. Yes, Country Hams are huge in Kentucky. The 4-H show in 2023 had just over 1,000 Country Ham projects showcased. And speaking of youth programs, the State Fairs in this neck of the woods do an outstanding job celebrating 4-H and FFA members’ achievements. With thousands of square feet devoted to youth entries, one could spend a day just learning about the impact these vital programs make each and every day on our future leaders.
This list could go on and on, but I am going to pause right here and challenge you to go find that hidden gem at your local Fair. Trust me there are still many wonderful annual Fairs that I have yet to explore. We all think of the corn dogs, carnival rides and entertainment, but I bet if you search deep enough you will discover a whole new aspect of your community. It is high time for everyone to go out and celebrate their local Fair. And maybe, just maybe it will inspire you to flex your creativity and set your sights on that sought after blue ribbon.
The cover photo is of Tisha, Peggy and I roughly four days before the front gates open at the California Mid-State Fair. A freak tropical storm blew through Paso Robles late on Saturday night and come Sunday morning everything was flooded and full of mud. This is us dragging furniture, props and decor out of Mission Square. A day that we shall never forget.
“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey
The telephone game was a childhood backyard staple many moons ago. Conveying information through a long line of willing sharers with the basic principle that the message being received at the other end would be in perfect tact. We can all guess how that usually played out. Fast forward to today and why as adults do we still struggle to get our message across fault free?
I have been truly fortunate to work with a very gifted person, Beth Wonson. Her true talent is constructing the art of communication. Sharing her insight and developing skills like a painter brushing strokes across a canvas, she makes the simple task of conveying our messages seem easy to breakdown and navigate. Being a true believer in her methods, I was invited to her first ever Navigating Challenging Dialogue® workshop. It was two days filled with “aha moments”. Leaving with my trusty notebook, tools acquired and a strong belief, I was ready to test the teachings out in the real world. Many lessons worked, some evaporated and a few really good nuggets became part of my sharing culture. There has not been a time since, that when faced with exchange challenges that I don’t hear Beth in my ear, giving a clear perspective on how to tackle the issue.
With formal training and years of experience, I honestly feel that I grasp the art of communication. Yet over my years in the classroom and in the work place I often find myself scratching my head wondering why my words have been left misunderstood? Even now as I convey my thoughts through this writing, I hope my message comes through the other end in full narrative.
Communication is tough, period, end of story. This blog has been percolating in my brain for a very long time. “I wish communication was better”, rings out in the wide open office spaces across America. I wrote earlier this year with regards to over using the word trigger. But after careful consideration, communication can easily give trigger a run for its money. How many times are we in earshot of someone saying “the problem is lack of communication”? So here goes my attempt to communicate my two cents on this complicated verb.
My guess if I took a quick survey many people would say that communication is the number one issue with either their work place, home life, or relationship with the world. Breaking it down to its foundation there are two basic principles that can cause the old telephone game to break down, delivery method and content shared.
First and foremost, we have all forgotten that communication is a two-way street. To hear someone, say, “that wasn’t communicated to me,” always leaves me scratching my head wondering, did the person even take the time to ask the question in the first place or did they expect through osmosis to read their mind?
People you can stand on your soapbox and scream “I am not getting information”, but if you aren’t actively trying to find the answers, how does the other party know what knowledge you desire. For example, one person may share very detailed information that they feel is essential to a project, yet the person on the other end may need completely different facts. Beth teaches the importance of clarifying questions. To communicate successfully you must inquire what needs to be shared, how it needs to be shared and if you understand what has been shared. I find the best way to use this skill is when receiving information, state it back to clarify you are truly absorbing the subject matter.
Once the content can be agreed upon, do you know how you like to be feed information? And leaders do you know how your people like to receive communication? I applaud the world for its advancement in technology, but human connection trumps an electronic devise. Being a firm believer of “people networking” is light years more effective than connection through the cloud over the space continuum, here is what I know about myself. The message needs to fit the platform for me to “hear it”.
A simple rule of thumb is the longer the content, the more traditional platform for delivery. Quick facts, phone numbers, addresses, a heads up send me over a text. Planning a meeting or sharing a document, email is a fabulous option. But, if you need to tell me something that is a detailed process or requires a discussion, the last place I want the information is in an electronic form. My brain shuts down about three lines into an email. And ponder this, how much emails and texts do you receive daily? The amount of clutter that clogs the pathways of communication is beyond measure. If you don’t want your message to get lost in the noise, why wouldn’t you just pick up the phone and have a conversation? Or here is a novel concept, walk over and find the person to discuss live and in person.
If you haven’t figured it out, I am still a strong believer in personal connections. When Maverick utters the famous words, “talk to me goose”, he was searching for answers. As we continue to lean away from communicating the old fashion way, we are slowly forgetting how to take responsibility for the information that we send out or look to receive. I am not suggesting that we all go back to paper and pen (as noted with the Valentines in the Rose Garden in Adelaide in the cover photo), but there is a need for pause to think before we share. At the end of the day communication requires people to be successful. Know your audience, know your content and have the faith that someone is listening, and just maybe your voice will be heard.
“I would rather regret the things I have done, than the things I haven’t” – Lucille Ball
Today is the 40th trip around the sun for a little red headed girl. Born and raised in a quiet country town, she evokes all things that one would expect from a rural life prodigy. She stepped into my life at the tender age of sixteen and overnight became part of not only my family, but our larger than life extended clan.
You may wonder why I think I am an expert to write a little something about this very unique person and my answer is simple. I know this girl pretty damn well! I have been her boss, her professor, and her travel companion. She is the big sister my kids never knew they needed and I can’t imagine a family gathering her face wasn’t present.
Teresa cares bigger than life for more people than I could ever count, so I reached out to the group and asked for T – isms in a group text. The responses were all over the board, but a selfless, adventurous nature did seem to become a theme. The actual text chain was pretty entertaining and had us all laughing. I will note some direct quotes where fitting. Don’t worry Teresa, I will edit Doris and Floris comments and share only true love and admiration.
So here is forty fun facts, cool traits, and loving thoughts to help her remember just how special she truly is to her world.
Teresa’s Fabulous Forty –
40 . T is always down for a good time (From Nolan but Bubba agreed 100%)
39. Never leaves a glass empty (yours or hers) (P Tuck)
38. Great trip planner to the last detail (Lilly)
37. Well Traveled
36. Can talk to Anyone about Anything
35. Tackles every last detail like a true Champion
34. Resourceful
33. Friends are Family and Family are Friends
32. Amazing Aunt
31. Has many nicknames and terms of endearment (T, Red T, STD, etc)
30. Diversified Career Hats
29. Sends the best cards (Tisha)
28. First to send you Starbucks $ on your birthday (Kayla Jo)
27. Looks after People
26. Great Tacos
24. Supportive Softball Coach
25. Pumpkin Master & amazing Homemade Pies
23. The Closer (bring her in to finish a job)
22. Dinner the night before the Fair Opens
21. Well versed in many subjects
20. Recalls one-liners from movies and TV (News Flash … Good thing I didn’t know that)
19. Bubble Lover (Joe)
18. Heart bigger than the Universe
17. Huge sense of Adventure
16. Great at Surprises
15. Loves her Siblings and Cousins
14. Doesn’t know the word “No”
13. Welcomes Strangers
12. Always Present
11. Sports Lover, as a Spectator or Participant
10. In a sea of blonds and brunettes she wears her red hair proudly
9. Loves her Sleep
8. Orchid Growing Queen – Green Thumb
7. Extreme Honesty, even when you don’t want to hear it!
6. Never shows up Empty Handed
“You’re working for me”
5. Expert use of copiers (she will know)
4. Will try anything once, even salad
3. She will fight to the death to support her cause or have your back
2. A ride or die to the better end
I think Lucille Ball summed up the number one trait that I admire about T the best. Lucy noted, “Love yourself first and everything will fall into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” The reason she has so much love to give to the world is that she is true to herself, good or bad, right or wrong, and that type of love should be cherished.
Teresa, as you can see, you are loved more than we always show. But at the end of the day, I think Nolan summed it up the best with this text. “All jokes aside, T is very thoughtful and never misses anyone’s birthday or important holiday. She’s always thinking of others before herself, whether it be coaching or hanging with us and that is a trait that is hard to find nowadays”.
Happy Birthday T, I don’t need to say be fabulous, because we taught you that at a young age. Make good choices and know you have all the well wishes in the world for you today.
Sometimes you’ll forget precisely what happened, but if a story touches you it will stay with you, haunting the places in your mind that you rarely ever visit. ~ Neil Gaiman
This week we celebrate a very special person’s birthday.
Actually, we celebrate two of the most important people in my life that just so happen to share the same March 7th birthday. My grandma Roberta was everything to me growing up. She taught me so many skills, how to read music, to sew, crochet, even bait a hook. Her talents were endless. On her 80th birthday, I missed her party as I had a more pressing engagement, the birth of my beautiful, red headed, baby girl Miss Kayla Jo.
Sometime in her teens, Kayla started the infamous birthday week. During her college days, birthday week took on a life of its own. Not being able to celebrate her in-person, I would post a “Kayla Jo Fact” on social media and she would get a small gift that day. Those of you that have experienced may have been wondering why you haven’t seen any KJ posts the past week. Well this year I get to be with my girl in person as she rings in her final year of her twenties. This celebration will a multi-day live event, far better than any birthday week.
This girl has accomplished more in 29 years than most people do in a lifetime. If we were to play the game what two things are true out of three about Kayla, my three things would be.
She was the first student to skip getting her masters at Oklahoma State University in Ag Econ department and go straight to her doctorate.
Kayla had a severe speech issue for the first six years of her life, yet went onto have highly competitive livestock judging career scoring high in oral reasons.
She currently owns two homes in two different states. Kayla has taken her love of Sims as a kid and transformed the passion into remodeling each with the help of her dad.
Which one is false, well I actually tricked you, all our true. Kayla is my silent child, yet if she calls you better be ready for an hour-long chat. This girl has her own sense of style and radiates beauty inside and out. She reminds me of grandma Roberta with her no fear attitude, creative energy and adventurous spirit. Can you tell I am a pretty proud mom?
However this birthday week is taking the celebration to the next level. Beyond having me in her midst on her special day Kayla will have two of my most special friends. One was even in the delivery room when Kayla decided to join our clan. Kayla dreamed up this request Christmas week and her wishes are coming true to have Brandy and Tisha out on the town. The only lacking character is her Aunt Stacy, which in all honesty I am not sure the Land of Lincoln is ready for the four of us “grown-ups” on holiday.
As we have been planning our Chicago escapade it got me thinking about my writing journey.
Brandy and Tisha have been two of my biggest cheerleaders since day one. Knowing my initial dream was a fictional book, Tisha was the one that said what don’t you start writing about what you are good at… like collecting points for our travel. Yes, I am the United Miles, Hilton Honors, Starbucks etc and so person. Over time my blogs seem to reflect more of one of my college lesson plans than a John Grisham novel. Some thought or concept followed by a take away or a strategic approach to how to accomplish. But no real story telling.
Why haven’t I made the jump to writing stories? I even have a blog about trying my hand at short stories but nothing has followed. Well the truth of the matter is that my life adventures (especially with Tisha, Brandy and my cousin Stacy) are way better than fiction. Maybe my writers block stems from reality hindering the make believe? So as our “band” (as Brandy so pointedly coined us) goes on tour through the Windy City making blog worthy memories, I thought I would share a small snippet of life on the road with the greatest non singing group ever.
Circa the early 2010s somewhere at a Hilton property
It was a warm, sunny day in Sonoma County. Tisha and I had spent the day making our way north for our annual olive oil judging event. When we started the Central Coast Olive Oil Competition, we soon realized to keep the costs down, economically sound choice was for us to take the entries to the experts than try and bring all the judges to Paso Robles. The residual effect we discovered after the first year was we got to spend a few days in a pretty fabulous area. Exploring the region and learning about their commodities helped us create a better competition and attract new entries.
We had unloaded the oils and sat the room up for judging that would begin the following morning. We returned to our room and decided that why we waited for Brandy (I know shocking twist) we would open our favorite bottle of rose and take our glasses to relax by the pool. Grabbing a couple of room towels to sit on, two go vinos and our liquid entertainment and away we went. The area was pretty empty with a father and son in the pool and the whirl pool empty. We decided the empty spa was calling us and sat up camp. Placing our feet in the warm water for a well needed rest, the quiet of the early evening just before sunset brought a peace to the space.
Now the smartest thing we did was take our cell phones with us, at the time it was the source to keep in touch with our travel buddy but proved to be our life line latter. Sitting in the serene space, enjoying our wine and exchanging a few words the world felt pretty good. But in an instant the still was gone. The father son duo from the pool decided to interrupt our private gathering. I don’t recall their names or the details of their faces but the man’s presence is ingrained in my mind forever.
He was large man both in personality and physical statue. Had an air of Jersey shore meets a dude that drove a muscle car in high school and now dresses in finest velour sweat suits. His hair was slicked back from the pool water and his hand held one of those Club Vodka drinks one could purchase at your neighborhood 7/11. As he and his son slide in the other side of the sauna he began to strike up a conversation. I knew instantly that this was going to be a meeting we wouldn’t soon forget.
Why you might ask everything word turn into a another adventure in wonderland down a rabbit hole. He immediatley asked us our names. My response was quickly ignored as he spun around to catch Tisha’s words. She barely got out “Tisha”, when he blurted out I can’t call you that without making my wife mad. You see my ex-girlfriend’s name is Tisha he said in a hushed tone as to not allow anyone to hear his dilemma. “What is your last name?” And at the moment Tucker was now the name of the person sitting next to me sipping on a glass of Domaine Tempier Bandol Rose. He then graciously reached over with his beverage to see if we would like some added to our glass. The small can had an odor of rubbing alcohol and we motion to our bottle of wine to indicate we were fine.
The question and answer period of the episode began. This is when we began periodically scanning our cells as if a pressing emergency was about to unfold. “What do you do for a living?” he asked. Figuring to not open the dialogue of why we were actually there, I replied “I am a college professor.” My response to his occupation question teaching at Cal Poly sent him down the path of praising his son’s keen math skills. You could tell the young man began to nervously plan his escape when his dad blurted out “give him a math problem.” I have to admit this stumped me for a moment as to how to navigate my response. I could see the poor boy wasn’t about to solve a production function so I just asked “How do you solve math equations, do you see in your head or have any special tricks?” The facts of his answer are irrelevant as his actions were more important to the story. He jumped out of the water, grabbed his towel and looked over his shoulder stated I am “heading to find mom”. And the boy was gone, and then there were three.
Silence had returned to our world but the peace was totally gone. Tucker and I sat there alone with our new pal. The next action took every ounce of our being to not react or burst out laughing. He made his way across the body of water, reached under where I was sitting, took the towel I was sitting on, wiped his face and returned the material. Stunned we both took to our cells and began texting each other. Trying to change the subject and praying for Brandy’s arrival, we began on a quest of information gathering of pure nonsense.
We soon discovered any topic he did it better and bigger than anyone. His life was built on having the best and he was true in his pursuit. Throwing out subjects like shooters at a dart board, we soon learn there was a style to his responses. Any topic would start with “Well it’s kinda a funny story”, a middle, and wrap up with how it was the best ever. His wife wanted a cat “ Well it’s kinda funny story, if we were going to get a cat it had to be the best. I did my research and I bought her a $1,000 cat, it is the best cat ever.” “How did you meet your wife?” “Well it’s kinda a funny story, I owned a car dealership it was the best in the Oxnard area, she was a model, yada yada yada and I was the best so she went with me”, he continued this for what felt like hours. Looking back the one saving grace to the story, we never really told him anything about us other than our names. We didn’t need to, he was the best talker we had ever met. He even told us how is wife was a fair queen in Paso Robles and got to pinch Clint Black’s butt. I gave Tucker the death glare to not reveal my little pageant secret and we escaped the sharing of information portion of the encounter unscathed.
How did this all end, where is the cliff hanger, honestly, I can’t recall. I do know Brandy arrived, we went back to our room and never traveled by the pool again. But what I can say with all certainty, there aren’t many conversations that ole Tucker and I don’t use “Well it’s kinda a funny story”. Over the next few days I can confidently declare a few things will happen, Kayla Jo will have an epic 29th birthday, there will be lots of champagne consumed, and more than one moment will be remembered in the future with the start “Well it’s kinda a funny story.”
Happy Birthday Kayla Jo – Love You to the Moon and Back
My three biggest sparks and their smiles are proof of joy in my heart.
The past couple of years we have heard the term trigger used in a variety of ways. From upsetting an individual to the more unfortunate “pulling the trigger”, the weight of this very word has grown beyond an episode of my 600lb Life. Such a simple notion has went from a real, medical definition for some to an attempt to create a world covered in padded protectors for others. Filled with so much unconstructive energy and beyond over used, I began not using the phrase when explaining my reaction to certain events.
Being one to put my best Pollyanna hat on, I try to look for the ounce of positivity in every moment. Last year the trigger mine field was taking its toll on my thoughts until I had a break thru this summer while reading a social media post. I know, how ironic, a method of communication that results in multiple trigger moments daily, I found the counter balance to those hair shifting actions. The post introduced the concept of “glimmers”; the celebration of the encounters that bring you joy.
The concept wasn’t completely foreign to my way of thinking. My last post noted having the opposite reaction to events, was this the same outcome just wrapped in a different package? If we are busy searching for glimmers will we have less time to be triggered?
As the months past, I pondered writing this blog and sharing my experience. Yet my attempts keep falling short. Thinking of the two forces, picturing an old school scale with triggers on one side and glimmers on the other side, the weight just seemed to lean to the former. Then like a meteor falling from the sky it hit me, I needed a stronger word to battle the Goliath. What should this new beckon of light exhume; hope, growth, power, joy or just about anything that expresses the feelings that brings a smile to your face. The Oxford Dictionary defines a spark as “a trace of a specified quality or intense feeling”. Intense feeling, now that has some muscle. Sparks can grow and turn into something magnificent such as true love. The Frank Sonnenberg quote suggests, “You never know when you’re creating a spark that will last forever”. The momentum continued build and spark became my new word.
Don’t get me wrong, part of a healthy journey is learning to navigate life’s ups and downs. I was very fortunate this week to welcome Kiah Burchett to my Equine Marketing class. She did an amazing job communicating to the students about creating your personal brand. But the part of her talk that really resonated with me was how we have to experience valleys in our life to enjoy the peaks. As she pointed out the consequences of your heart monitor being flat, a young man blurted out, “you would be dead”. Doesn’t it hold true to be truly alive we have to feel the triggers and the sparks?
Encountering the upcoming generations (Gen Z and Alpha), through my life or others around me, there is a huge population of adults flat lining our youth. They are creating a world (or at least attempting) were there are no downs. Furthermore, there are no consequences when you create your own valley due to bad choices. I raised three children who experienced their share of joy and heartbreak. Did it melt me when they were disappointed or had bad luck fall their way, absolutely? Were they miserable to be around when they had to pay the piper for wrong deeds, defiantly. Development into a happy human requires you to first learn what unhappiness feels like deep inside your core. Emotions and joy grow from experiencing the “trigger” moments. Disappointment flexes our emotional heart muscle. Seriously how does one gain compassion if they can’t identify suffering or misfortune. Once one can differentiate between dark and light, that is when the sparks become visible.
When I picture a spark, the first thing that comes to mind is a fire fly. Not common in California, but on a summer night in Kentucky they can light up your backyard. They aren’t a big bug, super fun to find and keep you searching for more. The key is once you discover one, stop and acknowledge and celebrate, if only for a minute. Let the good bring you joy, take a breath for yourself, give it the same space and respect you would if you were triggered. And unlike a trigger (that I suggest you release once it comes) store the good in your soul.
Where do I find sparks, good question? Pondering that while my brain was sorting through these thoughts, I began thinking of how I capture my “fire flies”.
1 – Many moons ago, circa 2000 I made a list of things I like. I still have the journal and a page full of pure Jackyness. I get that we have morphed into a society of technology, laptops and tablets have replaced paper and pen, but I am old school. To really get something to touch my soul I like to write it down. One could even say, a good journal would light my world up like the Fourth of July.
Curious to what was on my list? Oak trees and gardenias, the smell of rain and the sound of the ocean, inspiration and projects with an end, my list is pretty broad. Reading it today it is funny how so much of the contents hold true today. Giving myself this gentle reminder of my turn of the century thoughts will aid in my search of sparks in my daily life.
2 – That being said, be on the lookout, constantly. Reflecting of the earlier paragraphs, you can’t appreciate the spark if you don’t take the time to acknowledge one when it lands in your lap. During Covid the entire Exhibits Department at the San Diego County Fair was laid off, except me. Having to wear the hats of many talented people created new work for me on a daily basis. One day when I figured out a computer program that wasn’t normally part of my workload, I “high fived” myself. It was spontaneous one arm went up and it was met with a clap from its partner. In this moment this simple act was born. I acknowledged how great it felt, how proud I was of my achievement, and begun using this motion more and more.
3 – Similar to keeping yourself open for sparks, figure out ways to put your mind in the right space. I have written many times about one of my favorite teaching tools, the book the Happiness Advantage. The lessons are to put ourselves in the mental, physical and emotional state to be happy. From looking forward to a future event to exercise and mediation, create the space for sparks. If we are busy running around being triggered we will never catch a glimmer much less a spark.
Lets face it, things will be said, acts will be done, life will punch us in the gut and we will react. We can’t prevent this from happening to ourselves or our loved ones, no matter how hard we try the downs are part of god’s plan. But we can change our focus to search for the ups, however small, to remind us that there is always a rainbow after the storm. Find your joy, embrace the spark and remember the words of Taylor Swift, “’Cause I see sparks fly, whenever you smile”.
“Patience is when you’re supposed to get mad, but choose to understand instead” – Anonymous
We have all heard the old saying “Patience is a Virtue.” A phrase originated by English poet William Langland in the 1300’s, the quote has stood the test of time as a golden rule. The Bible also applauds the virtues of patience noting that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace and patience. But as I look around the world today, we are seriously lacking in this practice. Why has our patience muscle became flabby and weak?
January brings the beginning of a new year and the yearning of change and self-improvement. Gym memberships clog the airwaves and on-line streams are filled with home remedies for working out. The act of moving and getting in shape, burns calories and tones our physique. But what about strengthening some of our non-physical muscles? If we don’t exercise our virtues could we develop patience atrophy?
The other day I was watching an episode of Seinfeld. Kramer and Ellen were headed to the local video store to rent the latest VHS movie. As I watched the interchange with the store clerk of which new releases were available, I begin to remember what life was like prior to streaming devices and Amazon prime. In the little town of Templeton, we had one video store. I recall going in and placing your name on a list (pad and pen) to be next in line to rent the latest movie. We had to exercise patience and the reward was getting the phone call to come and enjoy the latest blockbuster.
Technology has made our lives more efficient, information more readily available and increased our ability to communicate tenfold. One single device, the cell phone, developed our instant gratification muscle into an Olympic athlete. We flex it daily as we text, call and email our people and expect immediate response. And when a answer doesn’t land in our lap within seconds we go into instant panic mode. Making up stories of why the other party is not responding. No thought or care that the person in question might be busy living their life, having a meal, or god forbid being present for another human being free from said device. The amount of patience used is zero. Is there is a direct inverse correlation between wanting our satisfaction immediately and our ability to sit quietly and wait? Or has the universe turned our lives on a perpetual fast forward speed?
Who hasn’t experienced that breaking point when we loose our cool. As we end that last day of the first month of the new year, lets lean into self improvement and all go into training and increase our stamina of being patient. Being a good personal trainer, I have come up with a weekly exercise plan for improving patience tone and endurance.
1 – Slow Down. As the title of the blog suggests, all things on God’s time. I use to relish in the fact that I could multi-task 24/7. Living in a constant state of being “on” raises your nerves and anxiety. Nothing can snap your patience in half than being in a hurry. Slowing down and taking one step at a time gives you space in the world and lessons the temptation to swing at those unforseen curve balls.
2 – React unexpectedly and do the opposite. I read an article recently that focused on not getting caught up in the expected results. Something goes wrong and you lose your cool. Why not instead counter with the complete opposite gut reaction and see how that feels? The other day I gave this a try while driving to dinner.
In Louisville many of the main roads have a lane down the middle that allows one to use as a “waiting spot” for traffic to clear. I was sitting in my car making a left hand turn when a lady pulled directly in front of me from the opposite direction. Her destination was further down and needed me to turn before she could complete her trip. She began to wave her hands, share not nice jesters, and basically throw a fit in her front seat like a three year old. My normal reaction would have been to try and hurry to cross the two lanes to my destination or share some not nice motion back. But instead I sat there knowing I could not move safely so I just raised my hands and gave her the heart sign with my hands.
I am unsure how my response affected her, but it made the whole incident irrelevant to my state of mind. Instead of being agitated or upset, I was completely at peace. I was patient, crossed safely and went about my business. Try the opposite exercise next time someone says or does something that would normally trigger you to react negatively and feel your patience muscle flex.
3 – Be prepared. I like to make my bed every morning. Originally this gave me a sense of completing a task to start my day. But over time I have discovered this little act provides me a sense of calm when the day is down. I have added to this process with washing the sheets right before a trip. Coming home to not only a made bed but a clean one is pure bless. Other little pieces of preparedness I have implemented are cleaning out my vacuum bag and filters after I use the appliance. Leaving items in a perfect state of use for the next time brings peace and aides in a patience neutral experience.
4 – Listen to your mother. If you have nothing nice to say, keep it to yourself. I know that is easier said than done. But as I watch the world react to one another across social platforms or comment boards, it is obvious that many feel an overwhelming need to throw out negative criticism. Patience can’t not develop in a negative environment. Like protein to your bicep, patience requires positive energy to build and develop.
5 – Take care of a pet. Having Louie in my life has been like joining a hard-core boot camp. You think a rep of burpees is tough, try an eight-week-old baby velociraptor disguised as a chocolate lab puppy. He has pushed my practicing of patience further than any paid personal trainer. Between the tears, torn up items, tripping over his toys and downright worrying about him like a child, he has really bulked me up to maximum performance over the last year.
6 – Put some grace in the space. My final exercise stems from my lessons with Beth Wonson. Give others time to react to your request. Build space around your expectations. Similar to slowing down or doing the opposite, giving communications, issues, or life a chance to catch its breath will develop patience. Set expectations for yourself and share frequently. A great example could be with responding to emails. If you know you are someone who is busy and only gets to your inbox once a day, try creating an automatic response informing others that you received their message and will respond within 24 hours. Eliminate the rush, the need to make up a story, or create negative energy.
Our daily life 30 or even 10 years ago had built in patience exercises. Similar to PE being mandatory in school, we worked out these muscles on a daily basis. Waiting was a given and we cherished the reward that time took to deliver results. Putting these daily drills into your life won’t eliminate the frustration of traffic or sitting on hold endlessly, but boy won’t you admire your improved stamina and energy as you wait for all things on God’s time.
(Cover photo is Nolan enjoying his favorite past time at one of his most cherished locations, Torrey Pines. Golf a true exercise in patience.)
“If you’re “too much” for them….. they’re not enough for you.” – Coffee Cup Mantra
The other day I received an email from WordPress with statistics of my year in review. Although I had visitors and many views, there was no new content. Much to my surprise I never wrote in 2023. Wow can that be true? Yes, I know I have been hit and miss over the past decade, but not one entry? Combine this fact with the recently discovered 2023 planner that was completely blank. The opening page stated “How will you bloom?” and solicited the planner to create a mission statement for their ideal year. Why was my last year void and what the heck happened to 2023?
The list is long, not much fun, very cumbersome and at times full of negative energy, but the answer was simple; I got lost in 2023. Not fully a surprise. I recall a morning drive in July and having the realization that I didn’t have the same relationship to music. The joy I found in little things, a song on the radio, a great bite of food, finding the groove in a project, these were all nonexistent in my daily ritual. Instead I was caught in a hamster wheel of trying to keep all the balls in the air while pleasing the masses.
Now I am not placing blame or not taking responsibility for my current state of affairs, this is more getting down to the foundation and assessing the situation. Letting my economic background take a hold of my brain, I started looking at the variables and limiting restraints in my life. Pretty much my entire landscape has changed. My X’s and Y’s were foreign. Living more miles than I care to think about from family and friends, no familiar surroundings, and lets just add it to the mix.. life with a dog (I do love Louie but he is a major change) nothing in my world has been the same. Allowing my environment to hold constant I need to improve my X to get the greatest return of joy out of Y.
What were the successful pieces in the past? Accepting that my function didn’t change overnight, let’s examine the timeline. In January of 2019 there was the phone call from the mammogram department at Sharp requesting I come in for additional testing. From that day forward life seemed to keep handing out new variables of constant change (including the fun filled adventure we all experienced called “Covid”). Now 1,825 days later, the variables have altered so many times that I feel more like a finished 2,000-piece puzzle that looks nothing like the box cover.
Then it dawned on me, I have been here before. Many, many moons ago I experienced much of the same feelings of life kicking over my apple cart and jumping all over my fruit. When my surroundings were different, the people weren’t my friends (at first) and the subject matter was very new and extremely scary.
When I was 11 years old, my parents divorced. My brother and I found ourselves outside our normal, small town of Templeton (800 people at the time) world and thrust into the hip, beach community of Carpinteria. Living in a condo and not on our farm with all our livestock was culture shock. Most frightening was walking into a 6th grade classroom with 20 plus strange faces looking back at me.
You see I started kindergarten with the same group of kids that I had shared a school room with for the past half dozen years. There were no surprises, I knew where we all stood in the world of grammar school politics. I can tell you that Jack Greer and Marty Gonzales would get chosen first for teams, that Eddy McGill was the fastest boy in class and most importantly that my desk would always be next to my very best friend Shawna Moore.
Yet on this October day just shy of Halloween, my mother marched my brother and I into Main Elementary School. I can picture that first day like it was yesterday. I had to sit in the office while my mother finished our paperwork. Talk about being in a fish bowl. Kids’ faces would cruise by the window all looking at the new girl. Soon I was whisk off to meet my new class mates. Mr. Carrillo was my teacher and he was a big guy. He ran his room in a loose but structured style. I soon learned that many of my classmates lived in the same neighborhood. But I also was quick to discover that some of the students did not welcome strangers. I was threatened and even ran away from school one afternoon. Lucky for me I had a great teacher and librarian that saw the need in a lost little girl and decided to choose my first friend for me.
Lisa Gray was the daughter of the local dentist, had a very similar appearance to me and loved to read. The school adults saw something in both of us and very silently placed us together. Reading groups, going to help the librarian, working on projects she was always by my side. And the magicalness of adolescents turn us two brown haired girls into the best of friends. She made my new life bearable and soon helped me find my groove in a new place.
Lisa and I both made other friends and shared mutual groups of interest, but I can’t even begin to count the numerous adventures, secrets and memories we created. Lisa was enough for me and I was never too much for her. And the funny thing is that I know if Lisa, Julie, Candy and others were to sit down with me at dinner tonight we would pick up right back where we left off. (cue the end of The Way We Were).
I moved back to Templeton my junior year and graduated with many of the faces that I begin my academic journey with 18 years earlier. But Lisa and a handful of other friends never left my thoughts. I use to note that at the time, I down right hated having to move, but looking back I gained so much from being in a new environment. From learning experiences to different styles in clothing (who knew there were jeans outside of Wrangler?) and being exposed to a larger community helped shape my life and inner growth. And if it wasn’t for Mr. Johnson my high school agriculture teacher I wouldn’t know Parli Pro or how to play cribbage.
Discovering the lessons as our life changes and why god has placed us on a path isn’t always easy. It can be downright challenging. Using all the tools in your chest of “self help” can take time to repair the road our journey travels. My fall back in any situation is to use the simplest form and go back to square one. Cleaning a mess of closet, empty it completely and start over. Challenge at work, what is the first step in the right direction? So that is what I have done. And writing this blog is the first step to a new tomorrow. I am not going to promise that this will be the year that I actually write more and more, but who knows maybe the door opening is a sign for that adventure to unfold. My other big news is that I am teaching again. I am officially the instructor of Equine Marketing at the University of Louisville for spring of 2024. It has been great making my mind use channels of thoughts that have sat dormant for a few years.
Here is to 2024. A planner full of notes and lists. A blog review that surpasses any other year. Life is a journey and as history has shown all trips have their ups and downs. Look for the foundation or that one solid variable. Be it a person, place or thing, find your Lisa Gray and the equation will solve itself.
a little bit about a lot of things 