“If it’s not easy or effortless, it is the wrong door.”
In keeping with my vow to celebrate gratitude in 2025, I’ve realized that gratefulness can come in many different forms. Jotting down some thoughts the other day, I wrote, “I am grateful for my problem-solving ability.” An unexercised muscle this past year, it is not only a gift but also a keen knack to change my perception. For years, I have developed this gift, much like a bodybuilder on an extreme regimen at the gym. I placed myself in a career path that nurtured these opportunities like a cherished crop. The most important lesson I learned wasn’t that there is literally “more than one way to skin a cat,” but that sometimes a gut feeling and time can serve as a remedy too.
If you know me, you’ve heard many of my Jackyisms: “Make good choices,” “If it doesn’t matter in five years, it doesn’t matter now,” and the infamous “You’re killing me, Smalls” (yes, I borrowed that one). But for the year 2025, my mantra is simply, “If it’s not easy or effortless, it is the wrong door.” The other day I shared my newfound philosophy with a friend and was reminded, ironically, this course of thinking goes against the grain of what we are conditioned to believe. Hard work, breaking boundaries, and building from past defeats are what make us stronger. If the journey isn’t bumpy, how do we know it is successful?
Don’t get me wrong, we must experience failures to truly enjoy the successes. I get it. But haven’t you ever been in a situation, making a decision or trying to climb that metaphoric mountain, and felt like landmines were everywhere? It was time to cut your losses and head back to base camp. Your emotions were drained, your insides were wrecked, and the thought of one more attempt would simply break you to the core.
I truly believe, after much reflection, that you were trying to walk through the wrong door. Not every exit is as simple as turning around and shutting that journey’s door. But, what if you take a step back and just take a breath? It isn’t admitting defeat; it’s realigning your compass back to your true path. Honestly, haven’t you ever felt like you were beating your head against a wall trying to solve a problem? With every step forward, you fell two steps back. Frustration and negative energy filled your vibes, and nothing was accomplished. It isn’t your lack of trying; you are just knocking on the wrong door. Maybe that is why it isn’t being answered?
Rewiring our brain to use positive vibes to accept a choice might be harder to develop into a new behavior. Connecting our heart and emotions to our head and logic—how silly does that sound? In my attempt to be grateful and cherish the gifts I have been born with, I am leaning into this thought process aggressively. In the past, I was the first one to jump on an opportunity without even considering its true value. Instead of over-applying my problem-solving skill, why not allow time and good vibes to guide the process?
Have you ever felt a situation before it happened? My grandma would call that a “gut feeling.” I once read that making a decision should feel right with both your mind and your heart. Think of that balance: if your heart is screaming at you to do something, but your mind is ticking off all the reasons this is a bad idea… let’s face it, it’s the wrong door. Remember Mad Libs, as you went through the plot you chose the word or direction? State a verb, a noun, and you were off into your story. Try choosing your next move using all your internal senses instead of jumping in full throttle. How does the right choice feel—easy and effortless? Simply stated, I am throwing out anything that is negative, as they say, focusing on good vibes only.
Last spring, we weren’t sure what our next move would be with our professional and personal lives. Did we need to journey toward the west coast, find a new path? Nothing felt like the right move. And then one day, while driving to a women’s water polo conference finals in Bloomington, Indiana, a call came. For the next hour, Tod talked to a recruiter he had met years earlier. The first question he asked was, “Are you still in Louisville? Because I have a job that is perfect for your talents.” By the time we checked into our hotel, we had the job announcement, and I was sitting at the lobby computer printing out what would soon become the “right door.” Every step was easy, the pace of the process was swift, without an obstacle along the path. When Tod would look at me and say, “I am sure there are other great candidates,” my reply was always, “Nope, this is too easy and effortless; you are going to get this opportunity.” And low and behold, within a couple of weeks, he was named the new Athletic Director at Indiana University Southeast. And we moved across the river to become the newest citizens of Sellersburg, Indiana.
Should tasks be filled with an overwhelming need to problem solve? What good comes from listening to glass-half empty thinkers? Absolutely nothing. I am not naïve to the fact that bad days will happen and negative bumps will appear in my path, but let’s minimize them at all cost. My new tool in my problem-solving chest is simply to listen to my inner self. Using the easy and effortless measurement device and not being afraid to give tough situations time to visually show a direction. Yes, I am very grateful for my skills that I was born with and those I have developed over time. Maybe someday I will even solve my dilemma on how to get myself to write more often. Pretty positive it is the easy and effortless method behind an undiscovered door.
a little bit about a lot of things 